Nickelback Story

Warning: This is a true story (except the vomit part)

Once upon a time a little mannugget named teeter was on the cusp of boyhood. At the ripe age of 9, he heard a catchy tune on the radio that he really liked, because he didn't know any better. Photograph by Nickelback. He saved up all his pennies and bought himself the Nickelback CD. Beaming with his newfound door into musical genius, he rushed to his CD Player to listen to it. An artist who can make a song as good as Photograph must have an entire album full of gems. When he played the first song, vomit shot out from the speakers into his face. Then the second song, then the third. The whole album, aside from Photograph, was utterly repulsive to the boy's ears. He then realized only sick, psychotic monsters could create such hatred against the entire art form of music. He saw Photograph in a new, twisted light that showed it's true colors, colors of EVIL. He walked outside into his driveway and literally smashed the CD into pieces, tears in his eyes that he had been so supremely betrayed by music.

Moral: This album is the John Wayne Gacy of albums. It lures little boys in with its cheap charm, then rapes their boyhood and leaves them on the side of the road, devoid of soul as a result.

This album is the equivalent of being a little kid and grabbing your mom's hand at the store, only to look up and it's not your mom. Bone-chilling, violating terror and betrayal. Horror.

That's why I give this album a .4/10