THE DOS AND DON'TS OF SASQUATCH RECONNAISSANCE- Pt 2
THE SASQUATCH RECONNAISSANCE GUIDE
click here for part 1
In this segment, we'll be learning how to discover, identify and infiltrate Sasquatch habitation areas.
LET'S BEGIN!!!
First, a list of invaluable items to aid you on your search
1 bottle of Jack Daniels
(Although a recovering alcoholic, Sasquatch frequently relapses)Flowers
(As we discussed in part one, Sasquatch have an extremely keen sense of smell. It's also a thoughtful gift when visiting someones home)
3 sticks of bubble gum, 1 box of band-aids and a paper clip
(I think it's pretty obvious what that's for...)Condoms
(In the event you need to transport water, 1 condom can carry up to a gallon of water. What the hell did you think they were for..?)
HABITATION ZONE DISCOVERY AND IDENTIFICATION
Pictured at right is what the Squatching community refers to as a tree structure, but those guys are idiots. This is a Sasquatch mailbox. After many long months in isolation, I've finally discovered their real purpose. The mailboxes main use is to stay in touch with friends and family, however it also acts as a toll booth for any other Sasquatch passing through. Sasquatch are highly territorial and trespassing through their land without consent can result in deadly consequences. Gifts are deposited in the center and should your gift be removed, your tithe has been accepted! Locating these drop boxes is simple, just follow the direction of unnatural looking tree breaks.
HABITATION ZONE INFILTRATION
If she accepts the flowers and starts massaging her breasts... You're fucked. This is an indicator she wants some revenge on her husband. Sasquatch females are extremely violent and have been known to kill the males during copulation. Be glad you brought the band-aids and condoms (You didn't really think they were for carrying water, did you? lol)
I was just kidding about the paper clip.
with a ton of awesome and helpful people.
Definitely go and check them out.
@newbieresteemday @greetersguild
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Alright, now were in business! Just need to gather the list of complelty invaluable items and I should be good to go, right?
Ball's in your court now bro... Make the magic happen!
Maybe magic is the key to successful sasquatch hunting after all..
I was a Scoutmaster for 7 years, and of course had numerous camp fire stories to scare the crap out of the little buggers. A couple of favorites were my encounters with Mr. Sasquatch. Two of my best friends were killed by him, don't ya know! Ah, yes the hunt for Sasquatch...invaluable information you've provided. And to think, you've earned less than a dollar for this profundity. Mrs. S would be highly offended were she ever to find out. Hmnnn.... that's an idea ...have her sign up with Steemit.
Lol, many a campfire story have I had the pleasure of growing up with... Might even in part be responsible for my imagination.
The post is relatively young. I'm holding out and hopefully retire on this one but if not, persistence... ;)
Pretty sure Mrs S is filing for custody and alimony, so maybe it's not a terrible thing I didn't strike it rich with this one after all...
So that's what those tree structures are for! HAHA!
Lol.. You have no idea how many sleepless nights, huddled under a rotten felled tree with a skunk as my bunkmate it took before finally figuring it out...
On the brightside.. I'M GONNA BE A DADDY!!! lmao
LOL oh my goodness, congratulations...? HAHA Oh, I'm dying.