This post is intended to be humor and make-believe. The request for advice on steem fiction is on the bottom under the dotted line.
I had a very busy day today, as I had to not only attend my usual classes, but had to also attend a very interesting presentation on Israeli-Palestinian issues! Safe to say I learned a lot, but I had a trouble thinking of what I might make for my push for a second post, as I didn't have a lot of time to really design a cool project.
I thought I might try something comedic and goofy, just for the fun of it, but while I was eating some Triple O's, a dark realization came upon me that shattered my world view, and gave me premonitions of the future.
Please stick with me while I explain what I mean. At Triple O's, an order of onion rings costs 4.25 Canadian. This is 3.21 USD. On average, I receive a certain number of onion rings per order, and for example, I had displayed the current number I purchased on this evening.
I have numbered 3 and 4 a different colour on purpose. They are distinctly smaller than the other onion rings, and therefore because of that, though I technically have 7 onion rings, I will assume that due to the size difference, ring 3 and 4 can qualify as a single ring, therefore giving me a total of 6 onion rings.
Now, we shall do some math.
4.25 / 6 = 0.71 cents CAD rounded up, 3.21 / 6 = 0.54 rounded up.
As a full-time student, I currently work approximately 18 hours on average every weekend at 13.45 CAD an hour, or 10.17 USD. I am clearly a humble man of modest means.
If you are following thus far, the issue may be becoming extremely clear to you. The hint is in the title of this article. I am a Vegetarian.
Ancient astronaut theorists say that Vegetarians eat Triple O's onion rings as a necessary staple for their diets, as Triple O's onion rings are highly nutritious, packed in super-food qualities and anti-oxidants, and help to fuel their layer-based body systems.
In order to provide solid, undeniable, absolute empirical evidence, I have amassed a pie chart to show how this is clearly the case.
As you can see by this pie chart, the evidence is undeniable. Onion rings from Triple O's make up 88% of a Vegetarian's diet.
As I am a true, pure-blooded Vegetarianite, I am the perfect sample for my undeniable claims of Vegetarian dietary biology.
Now obviously I was just having a mere snack, my meal was only 50% onion ring. This means that 50% of a meal costs the Vegetarian 4.25 CAD and 3.21 USD, making the remaining cost to meet 88% of the dietary needs for onion rings. This remaining 38 percent, by doing some basic ratio mathematics, means that 3.23 CAD will be needed to be paid PER MEAL to meet the basic necessary diet requirements of the Vegetarian.
In total, the Vegetarian will need to pay 7.48 CAD or 5.65 USD per meal, and since the average Vegetarian needs to eat 3 times a day, this means that 22.44 dollars CAD, or 16.96 USD, will need to be allocated to sustain the Vegetarian's basic needs.
22.44 x 7 = 157.08 to survive. I make 242.1 dollars a week. Half of my income is expended to meet my dietary needs as a Vegetarian.
This is unacceptable. I did not choose to become a Vegetarian. I NEED Triple O's onion rings as a basic right to flourish and live, the same as humans need water and air in order to survive. It is part of my lifeblood. It is written in my genetic code.
I have a theory, a strong theory. I theory based in sociological realities and economic principals. I theorize that as a male Vegetarian (female Vegetarian's have slightly different dietary needs, needing more Choco' milk in order to power their layer-based reproductive systems) this system is in place in order to limit my courting potential, thus starving me out of a healthy capacity in order to find a mate and create the next generation, ultimately picking away at our population decade by decade so that the Vegan sub-species, who have cheaper maintenance costs, can replace us and establish a New World Order based on capitalist-onion principals.
We as Vegetarian's are on the verge of purposefully planned extinction. And we need your help.
What I am proposing is Universal Onion Income. This will ensure that our requirements as Vegetarian's are met by offering not only Vegetarian's onion delegation, but every citizen of the global planet to have access to Triple O's onion rings. No one will ever have to fear starvation, as onion rings will always be around the corner and in our pockets, as they should be in a just and humane society.
Let me know your important opinions, thoughts, and considerations in the comments below.
ALSO! EVEN MORE PRESSING MATTERS! (( Joke is over, If you'd like to actually comment at all, keep reading because I'd love your input on this! ))
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I noticed some really nifty stories being posted like those of @muratkbesiroglu ! I am still new here, but I really like to write as well, and I have been meaning to start a new novel project, but I haven't got a lot of motivation and I would think maybe cutting my project into pieces and putting it here could help me keep focused and on track, and also help with it getting some traction and feedback!
My only concern is about possible plagiarism, what do you guys think? Should I chance putting my chapters up here and have them possibly swiped, or do you think it would probably be a safe bet? Maybe I should restrict the amount I post here so I stop after a few chapters, check the success it makes, and then just continue the rest in private? Any insight or opinions would be awesome, I'd be infinitely grateful!
Credits : Ancient Aliens for the memes, Triple O's for the AWESOME food and veggie-burger options for vegetarians like me, and ... Me! /dab
P.S. I just learned of Resource credits. Oops. I spent all my posts just yapping at people X'D BUT I AM WISER NOW!
Nice informative post
Thank you sir.
maybe you should create a community account on Steemit - Triple O's or something. People will donate their SP, steem, so that this account will provide those onion rings for all who need them )
personally I think that you should publish your novel project. like you said "...so I stop after a few chapters, check the success it makes...". As far as I understand on Steemit you always will be able to prove that you are the original author. just add the copyright license you want. You will get a lot of money and could add them to that Triple O's account to save the World from extinction )
as for Resource credits a good start to get quite easy some steem is @steemhunt . If you'll be interested just read any post of that account and at the bottom of any post will be a link to their Discord channel (where you could begin with "faq" room). I've already guided one person about it, you can read the comment section (especially the bottom) of this post if you'd like to get more info - https://steemhunt.com/author/@macoolette/p-smart-parking-vertical-and-rotary-car-park
and also be aware about different types of scam - https://steemit.com/steemit/@arcange/be-careful-new-scam-for-phishing-website-uses-fake-comments-with-images
as you're low at the Resource, don't answer this comment and don't upvote.
Ah don't worry! I bought myself 93 CAD dollars worth of Steempower recently! It was my first major investment, and now I have SO MANY RESOURCE CREDITS! POWER! UNLIMITED POWWWEEEERRRRRR!! (well not really, but close)
Thank you so much for all the advice though! That makes me so much more comfortable knowing that I have ways to make sure whatever I write is protected. The Vegetarians need to be funded, and right now I think I am the only one who knows of this great economic threat to our most critical food supply ;3;
I'm gonna' join that steem hunt though too, because even though I have enough steem power now to get by and do whatever I'd like to do, I'd really like to have a bit more weight with curating so that I got even a few extra cents coming back. I recently purchased a whole bunch of camera equipment so I could start my video project on dtube, I gotta pay the banks back X'D
Since I can afford it, I will upvote and follow you to show my appreciation :> Thanks so much and I hope to see you around more! The comment means a lot!
hi again. Today I found a little post about stolen works - https://steemit.com/art/@sanderjansenart/stolen-art . Just remember that we were talking a little bit about it. Looks like it's not easy to defend your original works.
Oh my gosh... that's HORRIBLE, caps all intended because of just how horrible that is. Especially considering visual arts are so difficult to make and often stand on their own as completed entities all in themselves, meaning it's a huge impersonation to steal them.
And they even ripped the watermark off.. fuckin hell...
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