Free medicine for you
(Screenshot)
I am a fan of the SydesJokes Faucet run by @sydesjokes. It is a simple faucet asking the absolute minimum effort. You upvote the post and leave a joke or a quote in the comments. The payout on the post is then divided by @sydesjokes between the participants. You can get SBD in three different ways:
- Your share of the curation for upvoting the post
- Your share of payout of the post
- Any upvotes you may get on your comment. People naturally upvote when you cause them to laugh or smile...
And...
you get to laugh as you read through the other comments! Or even as you search for a joke to leave in a comment. This is good for you!
If you want to learn about losing weight you should read @fitinfun's blog. She is inspirational and it would be great for your health if you were able to lose any extra pounds you are carrying. It would be even better if you lost those pounds in a healthy way through healthy eating. @fitinfun will be able to guide you on this path.
I am no expert on healthy eating. Unless the ability to instinctively love unhealthy food could guide you. If I like it, you had better stay away from it. It is toxic!
Should you want something more than just what not to eat, I recommend @bxlphabet's blog. He has a great many posts on what to eat. Follow him. He will inspire you, just like his mom, @fitinfun.
However, I do have some health advice that will benefit you. I want to recommend SydesJokes Faucet to you!
We have a saying in my country and quite possibly in yours too.
The Bible even says it like this:
Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
Pro 17:22 GNB
On Helpguide.org, a website billed as your 'Trusted guide to mental & emotional health', the health benefits of humour and laughter is described as the following:
- Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
- Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
- Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
- Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.
- Laughter burns calories. OK, so it’s no replacement for going to the gym, but one study found that laughing for 10 to 15 minutes a day can burn about 40 calories—which could be enough to lose three or four pounds over the course of a year.
- Laughter lightens anger’s heavy load. Nothing diffuses anger and conflict faster than a shared laugh. Looking at the funny side can put problems into perspective and enable you to move on from confrontations without holding onto bitterness or resentment.
- Laughter may even help you to live longer. A study in Norway found that people with a strong sense of humor outlived those who don't laugh as much. The difference was particularly notable for those battling cancer.
Source:Laughter is the Best Medicine
So I say again, Head over to @sydesjokes and start following his faucet. You will gain some SBD and some health! He only runs it Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays but if many of us start taking our medicine, we may convince him to do it every weekday.
And just to start you off, I want to tell a joke and ask for a joke.
A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI (Driving Under the Influence).
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Please post a joke in the comments here.
I will upvote every joke posted here within 7 days of it being posted. And the best joke (purely my judgement) will be awarded 1 SBI share when this post pays out. The winner will be announced in a post with all the top jokes commented here, quoted in it. You will be credited for your joke.
I do not know you well, but I know this about you. You do not laugh enough! You can do with some more laughter. Head over to @sydesjokes right now!
Thank in advance for every joke you post here.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?"
Because every play has a cast.
@ kryptonia
Happy 1st Birthday Superior Coin - July 1st 2018
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself." @Kryptonia ID @mejia_martinez
I sold my vacuum cleaner yesterday...
Well after all it was only gathering dust :)
@Kryptonia ID @socialmediaseo
You know it's hot in Africa when......
The best parking spot is determined by shade, not distance
@kryptonia
@kryptonia :)
This is not really a joke but I saw this story and thought it was hilarious. The author posted anonymously and I can understand why
So...
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the wash cloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the wash cloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.
After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal .. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mummy, where's my wash cloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."
Never going back to that doctor again........... never.
This is a brilliant initiative. Thank you.
Here is one.
When the town miser died, a few charitable individuals gathered together for his funeral. Just before thy closed the box, the minister said, “Before we send this man’s soul to heaven, would someone like to get up and say a good word about him?”
Silence. Nothing.
“Please, friends,” said the minister, “just one good word.”
Just then a voice came up from the rear pews, “His brother was worse!”
Why do we always tell the actors to "break a leg"?
It is because for every play there is always a CAST.😆😀😃
“It's fun telling people you go to McDonald's. They always give you that look like, 'Oh, I didn't know I was better than you.'”