Not a Day for My Needs

If I ever take a personality test that says I am a gracious person, it will need to have an asterisk that leads to a foot note says: only when she gets enough sleep.

Gra·cious -ˈɡrāSHəs
adjective
courteous, kind, and pleasant.

Unfortunately I never read that footnote about myself and had to learn this tidbit about me in a very unceremonious manner. Precisely when I huffed and puffed and pouted like the grown up child that I can sometimes be.

Look I may not be a pro at being petty but I am practically one one so give me a break -- I still need a nap.

It all started when the smoke detector in my apartment decided that 3:30 in the morning is a good time to let us know that it's batteries are dying. My original plan was to ignore the incessant beeping but when I realized that I could not ignore it, I looked at my husband and used every ounce of my will power to make him awake up without waking him up. I mean, how is the beeping not waking him up? My grogginess quickly became irritation and soon I could no longer bear the torture, so up I went, sighing loudly -- I make no pretenses for trying to stay quiet, If I woke up, Husband most certainly should wake up too.

source

I make my way to the dinning room to pick up a chair and I put it down with a thud while looking into my room and making sure the light was still off. And it was... what a shame. Now, the thing is, I know what the beeping means, the beeping means that it's time to change the battery. 3:30 in the morning me wasn't the brightest (or kindest). My critical thinking time ends at midnight and 3:30 in the morning is not the time to be logical and efficient, 3:30 in the morning is the time to be unconscious and asleep.

But I didn't get off the comfort of my bed just to make noises in order to wake up my husband so he could take care of the situation, no not just. I had a plan... alright, I had the essence of a plan and it was a good one in the mind of my 3:30 in the morning self. I was just going to disconnect the torture device smoke detector and let my husband take care of it in the morning. I was a simple plan, one I had confidence in.

Except the alarm wouldn't budge. It had arrows telling me which way I should turn but it was obviously a lie because there I was repeating "righty tighty, lefty loosey" as I attempted to disconnect the device and nothing happened. I didn't want to use too much force because even sleepy me knows that the apartment is rented and I want my deposit back when I move out. By now I'm so exasperated that my irritation turns to anger.

The great thing about fluctuating emotions is the ideas that comes with it. Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. The idea was so good that 3:30 in the morning me believed I was the reincarnation of Einstein. I thought to myself "remove the battery!" and so I did. I stood on top of the chair for a few seconds and heard the most heavenly thing: silence, complete utter silence. Forget reincarnation! I am Einstein.

I get off the chair and take it back to the dinning room and as soon as I am about to put the chair down I hear a beep. Hell woke up again.

So what is the most logical thing to do at this point? obviously the exact same thing I was doing before. I climbed back on the chair and attempted to twist and turn and disconnect the detector while throwing death stares at my still unlit bedroom and because by now I had figured out that I am not Einstein, quite the opposite actually, I realized I might be a bit insane. The beeping came directly from Dante's inferno and it did it's job, it made me lose my mind. Truth is, 3:30 in the morning me accepted this truth, embraced it even and so I started talking to the alarm.

"If you are beeping without a battery, than why you need a battery at all You son of a beeping beep!"

It's at this point, this very low point in my life, that I decided to give up. Momma didn't raise no quieter, but if I didn't give up my next course of action would have involved a hammer and me losing probably more than just my deposit. I put the chair back and as I headed back to my room in complete defeat I saw that the lights were on -- Oh, would you look at that! Husband has finally decided to joining the evening's festivities, isn't that grand!

I lay down in bed just as my husband is closing his drawer, he walks out and within seconds comes back to the room and the house is deliciously silent. If only it could have lasted longer because no sooner did my husband get into bed did he decide it wise to break the silence and say " all you needed to do was change the battery".

No Husband, what I needed was for my husband to have gotten up before I did and silenced hell before I lost my mind.
What I also needed was for my husband not to fall back asleep so quickly leaving me to pout on my own for the next hour.

And since we are talking about needs, there was also a need to not have to deal with coworkers that test your patience when you obviously did not have enough sleep to be sufficiently gracious. Obviously today was not about meeting any of my needs.

But I wonder, what would be your footnote say?