Vote @NoNamesLeftToUse for Content Producer of the Day: Everyday - The Easy Way

in #funny6 years ago

Are you having trouble deciding who to vote for today?
Is making a decision in general an overwhelming experience for you?

Fear not!
@NoNamesLeftToUse has the solution!

NoNamesLeftToUse - Success.jpeg

Hello

And welcome to the greatest opportunity of your life!

My name is @NoNamesLeftTouse The Writer/Artist Himself and I'll be your host.

Do you suffer from stress related brain injury due to being overwhelmed with the sheer amount of quality content this platform has to offer? Do you begin to hallucinate and hear voices when it comes time to choosing exactly which post you'll be voting for that day? Is this all beginning to take it's toll on your body? Have you been missing a lot of work lately? Did the divorce papers finally arrive in the mail? Did your dog stop eating her food so she can spend what used to be the happiest time of her life giving you sad puppy dog eyes instead while you do everything in your power to avoid cracking that last bottle of wine?

Would you prefer a better life?!

Yes? You would?

Well then!

You've come to the right place!

Not only the the right place but the only place you'll ever need to visit again for the rest of your life!

So pull up a chair and fasten the straps provided because you're mine now and you're not going anywhere for a very long time!

Just think of all the money you've already saved!

No more bills!

You're free to sit here while the rest of the world passes by and doesn't even know this little dungeon fun room exists!

I'll feed you things like:

  • Pancakes!
  • Fruit Loops!
  • Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!
  • Canned ravioli!
  • Orange drink!
  • Mystery meat!

That's right! You won't have to cook ever again and I'll raise the food tray

up, up, up!

All the way to your mouth.

You can simply lean in and nibble. No more forks and you know what that means, right?

You'll never have to do dishes again!

Isn't this exciting!

Applause.jpeg

Thank you!

Thank you!


How do you do it, @NoNamesLeftToUse? What's your secret?


The secret is in the kitchen so stop asking questions and come with me!

See the Kool-aid?


Trolling Chuck - Copy.jpeg
Yes!


Drink the Kool-aid!


Morning Wood Chuck.jpeg
Wow! What is this place?


That's your new home!

But I don't remember coming here...

Good!

Now just get comfortable here on the chair...


You mean the log?


Um? Yeah! Sit on the log!


It feels like I'm sitting on marshmallows!

But why can't I move now? My arms feel so heavy.


That's just your body telling you it's happy and likes where it is right now; so just sit back and remain still while I secure the rest of these special straps designed to keep you safe, warm, and cozy. If you think it feels too tight, don't worry, you'll get used to it.


You said something about voting?


Yes and don't worry, your phone will be safe with me. I've already taken it upon myself to help you with voting for things you'll like and because I'm doing that for you, I'll use one or two of your votes per day on my work at just the right time to maximize your rewards so we can pay for the food you'll be needing. I've also taken it upon myself to change your password because the one you were using was too easy to remember.


Thank you! I wasn't expecting to be treated like royalty! Your customer service skills are unmatched in this industry and I think I see a unicorn humping an eagle on a trampoline during a live episode of Scooby-Doo!


Yeah, whatever, just go to sleep and enjoy the content. I'll check up on you in a few hours.

Have a nice day!

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Credits:
All images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
"Vote @NoNamesLeftToUse for content producer!"

Images © 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse. All rights reserved.

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Vote @nonameslefttouse for Fruit Loops on the the Pancakes!

Just follow your nose!

And vote for @NoNamesLeftToUse!

Where do I vote? I want stuff presented to me on a cafeteria tray like when I was little, even though I mostly detested that stuff, at least I didn't have to cook it myself, don't play games, WHERE DO I VOTE?

On second thought, really glad I don't have 14 percent maple beer right now, imagine what I might say then? Sheesh.

Where to vote? Just hit the same button 3600 of my other followers couldn't seem to find... as I go piss away my depression with the wine my family offered me.

Oh, you mean the same button that 3600 other followers of mine can't seem to find? Yep, I got that in the bag. Along with myself. And apparently you, haha, enjoy the wine!

It's all good. It's a tough button to see. I've been noticing that since this wine.

You may have started a the the trend. It could show up on someone's blog and your other followers get the inside joke, and then you are one step closer to leading a cult.

It looks like there is a fire waiting to consume the log you want me to sit on. You are a scary man.

Wouldn't be the first time I started a cult trend.

I’m having such a hard time in who to vote for today my VP is down to 72% I’ve been rough on it today!

I’m not sure I want know what is in the mystery meat and that it will be 99.9% of what we are feed!

But I find it relaxing to do the dishes! Besides if no one is doing the dishes they can’t be drinking the koolaid from a clean cup! That could lead other unhealthy life decisions!

Speaking of koolaid the price on that stuff is going up. Who would thought if everyone just drank it down without question it would create such a run on demand.

I replaced the sugar with a few items I found inside a box sitting near a van behind the pharmacy. That helps bring costs down. You should have some more.

Think I'll pass. I have no idea where that van has been. For all I know someone was blowing themselves in it just moments before you happened into the free goods!

Hey, we do not soil this beautiful thread with talk of the guy who blows himself.

Well he did say "mystery meat" ;)

Why am I not wearing pants now?

Pants? Where you're going, you don't need pants.

Okay, I thought it might have been a glitch as I drank the pitcher of kool-aid the glass just was not doing it.

Oh! Yeah, that's a lot of Kool-aid. You were probably just feeling warm. This happens, totally normal, you'll cool down in a few days.

Those were my favorite pants; please be kind to them.

They're shorts now and I'm selling them on ebay.

Now if I ever escape, I will have to change my name to @nopantslefttowear

Are the pancakes the ones that come frozen and you microwave them so that they feel rubbery and get hard fast? If so I'm in! I love those things. I'm not fond of Kool-aid though so you'll have a hard time getting me to take a cup of that down. I learned my lesson on drinking Kool-aid from that time I joined a cult....never again.

Homemade, then frozen. They don't feel rubbery and get hard fast though because I use ground up cardboard and toilet paper. Don't worry about the Kool-aid. The orange drink is really good though so try that.

LOL!!!

You almost lost me at the canned ravioli but you had me back at the 'mystery meat'. I am always up for some non-veg humor......

The cans without labels are cheaper and the best deals are near the pet section for some strange reason.

I wonder if it is just 'pets' in the can

That's still better than flushing the goldfish down the toilet, and they're high in protein. Don't be fussy now!

How about a Dagwood sandwich and some watermelon. Instead of peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Yeah sure, just sit down and I'll have that ready for you in a jiffy!

Yeah sure, just sit down
And I'll have that ready for
You in a jiffy!

                 - nonameslefttouse


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

I am so talented!

I like that haiku bot!

Success is very important part on human life .
No success no life .

Thanks for sharing @nonamslefttouse
Upvote you .

Yes funny 😂😂

Thanks for reading the first tag. Here, drink this...

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