Jokes and Trivia for March 14th

One filled with joy preaches without preaching. - Mother Teresa

HUMOR FOR TODAY - MARCH 14th

This is the 73rd day of the year with 292 days to follow.

Moon is waning crescent with 10% visible.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Learn about Butterflies Day
~ National Pi Day (Why is it March 14th? Because today is 3.14, the value of Pi.)
~ National Potato Chip Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

• 1879 Albert Einstein, German-American, theoretical physicist (got a Nobel for the discovery of the theory of general relativity, effecting a revolution in physics)
• 1928 Frank Borman, born in Gary, Indiana, astronaut (Commander Apollo 8, and the first to fly around moon)
• 1933 Michael Caine, England, actor (Blame it on Rio, Alfie, Educating Rita, Sleuth, Interstellar, The Last Witch Hunter)
• 1934 Eugene A Cernan, born in Chicago, Illinois, Captain USN/astronaut (Gemini 9A, Apollo 10 and 17; 1 of only 12 men to walk on moon)
• 1948 Billy Crystal,born in New York City, New York, actor and comedian (When Harry Met Sally, City Slickers, Monsters Inc., Monsters University, The Comedian)
• 1957 Tad Williams, born in San Jose, California, author (Otherland & Shadowmarch series; The War of the Flowers; The Ordinary Farm series)

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Friendship is like an empty glass. It fills with love & shares with others. Handle it carefully! Once broken, it cannot be rejoined. - Shaijan P.T.

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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

• 1900 The Gold Standard Act was ratified on this day, placing United States currency on the gold standard.
• 1967 The body of President John F. Kennedy was moved to a permanent burial place at Arlington National Cemetery.
• 1995 Astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American astronaut to ride to space on-board a Russian launch vehicle.

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"

"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end... a confused silence.

"Is this Steve?"
My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"

"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice.
I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00."

A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"
"The girl he went out with."

"I know that! I mean... who is she?"
"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?"

"Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?"

She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?"
Apparently she wasn't.
"Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake."

"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home."
I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..."
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My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.

"The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained.

Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself."

pic of the day: Carnivorous Pitcher Plants

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Once upon a time in old France there was a small vineyard run by a coven of witches.

The grapes that grew there were used exclusively for the production of raisins, and were always harvested under a full moon to preserve the magic properties some of them had.

The witches believed that one full moon in seven was a bad one, and while the raisins made from grapes harvested under a good moon were ordinary (albeit of high quality) and mostly went to general consumption (witches have to make a living too, you know), grapes harvested under a bad moon would rot - with one exception: The biggest and strongest of the grapes would survive to become the legendary.... "Bad Moon Raisin".
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Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.

"What happened this time?" he asked.
"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?"

"Where are you?" John asked.
"I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.
Jill replied, "It's in here with me."

Marilyn, the teacher, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.
"Rome was built at night." was his answer.

"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor, holding her ruler firmly in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"
"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."
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Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground.

The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. The second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter.

The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch.

"How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."

TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is another name for pitcher plants? These plants are also called "monkey cups" because monkeys have been observed drinking rainwater from these plants.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Good judgment comes from experience; and experience, well, that comes from bad judgment. - Anonymous

THAT'S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult of all. - Johann von Goethe

Humor is great for stress relief! :-) ... much of this also appears on my JokesAndTrivia.com site, and of course jokes... they're everywhere! :-)

Picture of Pitcher Plants an original ... in other words, yes, I took that picture! ;-)