Funny story

Craig then explains what his life was like when he was only four years old. His family lived in a small, unimpressive apartment, and Craig himself gravitated to maps and art; at one point, he attempted to draw his own map of Manhattan, but found the attempt itself frustrating and upsetting. In response to this problematic attempt, Craig's mother urged him to create maps of imaginary places instead of reproductions of existing maps. The process of creating such maps served as one of his Anchors, until he turned nine.

The narrative then returns to Craig's discussion with Dr. Minerva, who learns of Craig's earlier map-making. It is also revealed that Craig is on medication and is seeing a second doctor, a psychopharmacologist named Dr. Barney. Craig pays Dr. Minerva, returns to his home in Brooklyn, and reflects on his eating habits. For him there are only two possible eating experiences: rapid and enthusiastic eating, or eating that involves extreme mental and physical strain. At home, Craig greets his dogs Rudy and Jordan, his sister Sarah, and his parents. His mother has made dinner; the entire family attempts a pleasant conversation during the meal. However, Craig has considerable trouble eating and rushes to the bathroom, where he vomits.

In "Part II: How I Got There," Craig attempts to trace the origins of his problems with depression. Two years before the events already described, Craig was accepted into Executive Pre-Professional High School; he earned his place in this prestigious academy be studying nonstop for the entrance exam and securing a perfect 800 out of 800 score. The studying process had caused Craig to lose touch with many of his friends, although he did form a bond with Aaron, a confident and talented student whose idea of recreation, nonetheless, mainly involves smoking pot and watching television.

Craig discovers that Aaron also earned a place in Executive Pre-Professional, and the two of them decide to throw a celebration party at Aaron's place. Craig brings scotch, while Aaron supplies pot, music, and most of the guests. One of the guests is Nia, another high-achieving student; she and Aaron form a relationship during the party. Craig, for his part, has the chance to have his first kiss with a girl named Julie. He passes up on the opportunity.

After the party winds down in the early morning, Aaron and Craig decide to walk across the Brooklyn bridge. Aaron is somewhat preoccupied with his new relationship with Nia, while Craig reflects on the scenery and on his own feelings of strong contentment. At one point, he stands over the water and calls out the word "Eulalia!" (an exclamation Craig remembers from the Redwall book series). However, in Craig's own view, Craig's life begins to go downhill soon after the party at Aaron's.

Craig spends the rest of junior high socializing with Aaron. Once Craig enters Executive Pre-Professional, though, he finds himself overwhelmed by the difficulty of the work and the other students' impressive academic backgrounds. He experiences difficulty eating and thoughts of death, and hears a voice that refers to him as "soldier" speaking in his head.