I am Lordvader, Ask Me Anything.
Greetings loyal followers.
After my last several transmissions, several inhabitants of your system have posed rather interesting questions. My assistant Vera, who is wise beyond her years, suggested that I should offer to answer questions from more of you. She concluded that many of you may be too intimated to ask me an uninvited question. I wonder why that is? Clearly it is nothing I have ever done...
But don't worry about any of that. Really. You can trust me. Feel free to ask me anything you'd like.... with one exception. Do not ask what Vera looks like. That is none of your business. Few have earned that privilege.
To help to inspire you, here are some of the questions I have already answered.
On the topic of the Emperor selling my likeness isn order to raise funds, @barrydutton asked:
"Have you considered approaching Goldman Sachs for a loan?
I hear they are Too Big to Fail.
and are clearly on the Dark Side.
...... Could be a real good match. Like Tinder but for darkness lol"
My response:
We have a very close relationship.
Also concerning the economic problems of the Empire, @donkeypong asked:
"And what do you think of our STEEM currency? Is it not light years ahead of those old imperial credits of which you have spoken?
What would it take to get the empire to adopt STEEM or SBD as its official currency? People on the planets could still redeem it for seaweed cakes. "
My response:
I find your "steem" impressive. Most impressive. In fact, it s one of the few things from your galaxy that I think is worthy of the Empire's attention. Unfortunately, my boss is a complete tool. He is resistant to adopting it. I am teetering on the brink of throwing him down a long shaft. His lack of respect for the power of steem may push me over the edge.
When I suggested your system stop spamming me or face the full power of the Death Star, @gregory-f asked:
"Lordvader, why did you target my house with your big laser? Is this just a ploy to get me to hurry up and rent one of your condos?"
My response:
The other marketing was not working. I decided to use a more direct approach.
On this same topic, @lemouth made made a suggestion in the form of a question:
"Maybe you should replace your lightsaber with a baseball bat to help to be understood on this planet? Or try to force choke the guy with the big belly, the white beard and the tiny glasses! This will definitely lead to fear..."
My response:
Excellent ideas.
On the topic of the Death Star, @steevc asked:
"So why isn't it called a Peace Star?"
My response:
It is called the Death Star because it is bringing "Death" to chaos.
After losing my shuttle, @justtryme90 asked:
"It's hard to remember where you parked if you party as hard as Lord Vader. Very understandable, still why didn't you assign a storm trooper to just wait with your shuttle? You can't possibly think they deserved to have fun too ... Can you?"
My response:
Thank you for reminding me! I did assign a trooper. I remember him claiming that he couldn't see anything though his helmet and he "lost" the shuttle. How do you lose a freaking shuttle? Oh you reminded me of something else. I need to find 2 things. My shuttle and the mangled body of a dimwit.
After my New Year's Eve blackout, @donkeypong asked:
"Wasn't this you in the subway also or did Halloween come early?"
My response:
I was wondering where this extra gloved hand came from...
After discovering the identities of the shuttle thieves, @oleg326756 asked:
"Mmm, what I’m wondering about is this: don’t you recognise the perpetrators?? Don’t they look at least slightly familiar? You spent a considerable part of your life in the past in their company, fighting and going on adventures along their side. They even called you ‘our Master’. Why are you acting like they are complete strangers to you now?"
My response:
People keep asking me this. They even think I knew one of them when I was a child. Perhaps even built it. I can't imagine why I don't remember my childhood perfectly...
Oh wait. Perhaps it had something to do with this...
Being burned over 100% of your body takes a toll I guess.
Does anybody say "Later, Vader!" and then proceed to moonwalk out of your presence?
Actually, I do this all the time. But it is kind of like your "Vader out" phrase. I say "Later" then point to myself with my thumbs and say "Vader". Then I make an awesome exit.
This is acceptable. I approve!
At least, Lord Vader, you could tell us how old Vera is and on what planet she was born.
You never ask a lady her age... and she is quite the lady. She was born on Tatooine.
Awesome. Anyone who likes this please retweet my tweet here:
https://twitter.com/Soul_Eater_43/status/816809776466239488
#darthvader #ama #steemit #funny
Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
lord V
tell us more about Vader Corp Coin
My boss still has us using outdated galactic credits. Do you know the transaction fees involved with those? My boss is a moron. I think this steem has a chance to turn the tide in favor of the Empire once and for all!
Forgive me Lord Vader for I am late. But I am on an important mission. I have been scouring the galaxies to look for intelligent civilisation to exchange technical know how with them.
My question to you is: Will you be willing to do the same with us humans? I know we would be benefitting more with this than you, so.......... pretty please?
I can show you how a Death Star works... how about that?
Sure! Only, let the target be any other planet than Earth (preferably uninhabited).
@lordvader do you care to explain the recent scandal surrounding certain shall we say "compromising" selfies?
http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/I-merge-Star-Wars-characters-with-ancient-paintings-and-vintage-photos13__700.jpg
This one may require a transmission of it's own. But Let me just sum it up by saying that at times, I needed to wear very elaborate disguises in order to infiltrate enemy strong holds. I'm actually surprised you recognized me. This was one of my finest disguises.
Wonderfull post , really down to character :) , saw your post from the postpromotion chat , I was sure I would like it ,but not this much , also a question
, what would you do with that galactic province of China if it gets a Steem like currency and tries to overthrow your masters powerfull grip on the squealy bankers and other corrupt officials daring enough to go against you?
I can't even say thank you! that's how much I think you're Darth Vader ,
but check my second post at least , toss some dead bodies towards it :D I would be more than gratefull to the Empire.
https://steemit.com/story/@j3dy/answer-to-life-challenge30-day2-train-and-think-or-steemit-review
We aren't really worried. Why? Two Words
Lord Vader
And why would they need a "Steem-like" currency. Steem is the best part of your planet. Why not just use that?
Who is your father? What was he like?
My mother claims that I have no father. I am the child of the Force. Preposterous I know. Who ever heard a story about a virgin birth?
How do you feel about the fact that I am now crying.....
with laughter!!!
Conflicted. I like it when people cry. But it seems like you may actually be happy. That I don't like... unless you are Vera. And you are NOT Vera.
more crying... on the floor.... rolling
I too am laughing uncontrollably. See...
What is the in the blue drink?
It is bantha milk. It is similar to your cow's milk... but it is superior in every way because it's not from your primitive planet. It is actually very sweet.
How do you milk a bantha may be your next question. I'm not sure, but I do know that once you milk a male bantha... he is your friend forever.
I am still looking for those two droids...