Captain Crunch "Writers" Need To Step It Up Or Relocate To Hollywood For "The Emoji Movie 2"

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Crunch 1.jpg

These guys have got to be unionized.

If it's comedy, then you and the Cap'n ain't makin' in happen.

I know that the standard society allows kid's material to be judged by is fairly low. Of course, we don't expect complex plot or character developments, subtext, nuance or anything else we already don't expect from most of the Hollywood schlock we (us Americans) make successful at the box office.

Emoji.jpg

Ahem.

I'm also well aware that the back of an (ostensibly) kid's cereal box is neither the place for high art nor the type of venue likely to attract top talent. In short, the budding Shakespeares of the modern era who have been displaced by the destruction of traditional print media are probably not lining up outside the "Snapple Bottle-Caps Animal-Facts Line" or the Lucky Charms warehouse.

Nevertheless, I think we need to have much higher standards for the quality of material we expose children to, because as South Park notes, a form of media doesn't need to be violent or sexual to be a bad influence - being exceedingly stupid may well be damaging on its own.

Let's look at what spurred my particular complaints this time.

0322180539.jpg

Exhibit A...and A is for "awful."

Here's a nice "joke" intended for our spry, 8 year-olds getting their Saturday morning sugar fix. But, what's the joke? If you said "reference to a long-defunct TV show from the 70s that nobody under 35 years old has ever seen,", then circle gets the square!

Rest assured this is no fluke. The authors of this cardboard opus wanted to guarantee, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they they really don't give the slightest fuck who their target demographic is.

0322180539a.jpg

After all, I am pretty sure that #Gilligan'sIsland is one of the most reliablty popular hashtags in the millenial word.

How could a kid not find this hilarious?

If you're a struggling monkey, looking to take your shot at randomly face-rolling your way into composing a modern rewrite of Shakespeare (perhaps, with Claire Danes), look no further.

Perhaps you and the Cap'n can actually make it happen.

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Sources: Google, Morons
Copyright: Captain Crunch, Fantasy Island, Gilligan's Island, Emoji Movie

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Which reference do you think I liked the most?

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Your post was a bit complicated for me to understand, perhaps I didn't watched these programs you shared with us here.

But one thing on which I agree with you is that we need to improve the quality of material we share with our children's.

Children's mind are like seeds that will grow up to give this world fruits.

With the wrong caressing, they will grow up to produce sour fruits, but with right care and support, the fruits will be sweet.

Thank you, I appreciate the genuine comment.

You'd probably need to be American, of a specific age (40+), to get the references...which is exactly the problem. I only know Fantasy Island by proxy via another 70's show.

The TLDR is the jokes on the box are all references to 1970s TV shows that aren't even really on TV anymore. There is no way the kids could possibly understand the jokes. They might as well be about quantum mechanics. The writers don't give a damn about anything but pushing out garbage and going home. It's a 0-star effort. 0%. F-. Fail.

I imagine it's a hard job to take seriously.

Okay, I got it now.

@lexiconical, i was discussing recently with some friends how most T.v shows are now crap, i heard some folks talking about a popular cartoon show promoting some really crazy thing, i mean things that even adults won't be able to discuss openly when kids are there.

How do you explain a show that is talking about different sex style...yes, you heard me right and to make it so crazy, it was a T.v show for kids.

The argument was its safe to start teaching kids about sex (sex Education) at an early stage,

I have not heard something as stupid as that in a while, luckily, the show was brought down.

"Feed the kid the wrong information and the future isn't safe no more."

That's right, never feed the wrong info to kids, never intentionally.

I'm not sure I've heard of the specific show you are referring to. What country was it in?

I can tell you that children are definitely "growing up" faster in this modern world than they ever have before.... and by that, I mean they are exposed to what we'd call adult material at a much younger age.

Not a fan,

Or you could just stop eating bad-for-you cereal?

As far as poker is concerned tho, are you gonna put a move on Chan?
https://steemit.com/life/@harpooninvestor/are-you-pulling-a-move-on-chan

I really enjoyed your rant haha!

#Gilligan

I'm glad to see someone out there got the joke!

Unfortunately, I noticed the apostrophe cut off my hashtag. I'll speak with the committee about changing to #GilligansIsland instead.

your post is great....i liked it...thanks for sharing

Really awesome to see you writing & thanks a lot to share this content with us.

😂 😂 😂 😂....
Nice post buddy.
Thanks for sharing @lexiconical

+1 least fake comment yet.

Not a good start.

All my favorite TV shows! LOL

Keeping Up with The Kardashians...hell yessssssss!!!!!

Hahahhaah I've often wondered who gets hired to adorn these cereal boxes, that being said Lexi consider the possibility of subliminal messaging...

What if there are hidden messages design to dig deep into the mind of a small child and of the sudden the harmless looking Gilligan reference evokes the highest desires for processed sugar?

I say we need to put children into labs, expose them to defunct 70's shows and run some tests... Maybe put 1 squirt bottle of honey in front of them, 20 oz of raw sugar and 20 oz of processed white sugar and see with which one they choose to give themselves a coma.

Perhaps we can also apply the marshmallow test in our process:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment

Totally agree with your above statements, as a mom of 4 boys the amount of junk that I see them watching is so annoying. Also what they find amusing is such rubbish. One of the big issues is that kids copy the characters , they pick up the lingo and mannerism which aren't the best most of the time!

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