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RE: The Empire has sent you a friend request.
I'm afraid poor Dennis is screwed, but at least he will die happy - knowing that he was... how should I put it ... err, right.
As for the future of this miserable planet, I'm afraid that after reviewing all the data you might come to the conclusion that earthlings aren't worth becoming slaves valuable members of the empire. Better clear out the space and make a whole new planet and leave it bare - just grass and hills and possibly birds - one beautiful golf course for you to enjoy!
There are a few of you who are proving themselves worthy. I am considering adding you to that list.
In the mean time. You have earned this.
Oh, such kindness warms my...heart!