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RE: I Refuse to Hold Back On My Talents Just Because the Payouts Seem Low

in #funny8 years ago (edited)

Well, I just don't know where to start with this post and its comments, but feel it's necessary to clear some things up right from the start.

  1. Duck fat is the most delicious cooking fat you can use
  2. Fats ducks are just, well, sad, but maybe not as sad as starving ducks
  3. Fuck dat is a very necessary part of anybody's vocab
  4. Wasabi peas are the most disgusting food on the face of the planet, and anybody even thinking of feeding them to ducks is guilty of gross cruelty
  5. And while we're speaking of gross animal cruelty, you know how I feel about cruelty to donkeys. The same would apply to cruelty to elafints. Or fishes. Or ducks. Or bears, especially Pooh and Giant. Or really when you get down to it, peas. Do you think peas want to be coated in something as disgusting as wasabi? I think not.
  6. What the fuck was I talking about?
  7. There was a point, somewhere. I think...
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hahahaha...I can't breathe....hahaha...hold on I might be able to respond to this...after I change the undergarments I may have peed in a little....

Make sure you keep those undies. Once you're a world famous author and your books have been made into a record breaking series of movies, people will pay good money for them.

Ewwww, have you seen the show Orange is the New Black? Ewwwier, lol.

Yes, that WAS what I was thinking of :-)

  1. I take my plain, in a bowl, and eat it with a spoon
  2. Everyone forgets about the ducks in the middle.
  3. Agreed
  4. My ducks are picky eaters too
  5. I'm not ready to apologize about the donkey yet.
  6. Just read it again. That's what I do when I forget. Some call it studying... I don't.
  7. Looks like about seven points to me
  1. Exactly! When a bit of duck fat just happens to fall off the spoon, into my mouth, on its way to the roasting pan, it's much tastier than lard.
  2. Are you not acquainted with ducks? Even middling ducks don't let themselves get forgotten. Have you ever noticed how ducks just casually wander past, as if they're going somewhere else, and you're just on their way. Just in case you happen to have some tasty niblets you might have otherwise forgotten about.
  3. Good to know we agree on something. Though we can still be friends, even if we agree on nothing else. Can't we?
  4. Wasabi peas do not fall into the category of tasty niblets
  5. Maybe we can't be friends after all
  6. Thanks for the tip, that could be useful
  7. Oh good, I feared I had degenerated into a mindless rant
  8. I had a maths teacher called Mr Duckworth (no s) once
  1. It's the new peanut butter
  2. Pretty sure I know a thing or two about ducks.
    WIN_20140703_114905.JPG
    When they go out for a stroll, they own the road.
  3. I think so
  4. I'm only pretending to know what those are, to be honest.
  5. Damn
  6. All tips are useful.
  7. Composure. It's all about keeping your composure
  8. Was he a quack?

Pretending to know what those are? Sacrilege on both your heads! Wasabi: Japanese horseradish, color green. Hottest horseradish on the planet (though some wasabi peas are weakly coated and very unsatisfying) Will make your nose burn to the point of near pain and your eyes water, but a euphoric pain, lol.

One time I was at a get together with a few friends and saw these things that looked like interesting crunchy snacky things. Everybody was eating them, so I popped one in my mouth. WTF? This tastes disgusting. And that was quite apart from the heat. So I actually do wonder whether it was off, cos it did taste like rancid vegetable oil smells. Or is wasabi supposed to taste like that?

No, definitely not rancid. Actually, the only reason I like wasabi peas is for the coating, and many times they don't get it right. Though if you don't like horseradish you probably won't like wasabi. It's the hottest horseradish there is. Though it's different than the average kind because it has a kind of sweetness to go with the burning your nostrils and eyeballs out, lol.

Are those your ducks? I thought you had chickens but didn't know you had ducks too.
Composure. Yes. Breathe in, aaaaaand out, aaaaand in...

Just a few ducks. More turkeys than ducks and more chickens than turkeys. Laying hens of course. None of these birds live the nasty life you see in the anti-meat eating videos on youtube either. They all walk around and just do their thing until it's time.

Just how it should be for all creatures including us. Just walk around doing our own thing and minding our own business, till it's our time.

I'm re-reading and still laughing, but I can breathe now! Well done Deb! And well done @nonameslefttouse for your post giving me my hilarity fix a second day in a row, LOL!

Duck fat...lol...this giantbear fell down like a fat duck yesterday...

Do you think that counts as cruelty towards a bear? Because I specifically forbade that.

Oh @kiwideb I believe that this definitely counts as cruelty towards a bear! This bear was exploited to the entertainment of others. It was a total crime the way humans were laughing at this bear while she lay there vulnerable in the rain;)

And who was the cruel person who spread the duck fat on the pavement for bears to slide about on? Oh wait, possibly I got hold of the wrong end of the stick on that one. Oh wait again, I think I might also have jumped to incorrect conclusions about there being a stick for prodding bears.

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