Funny stuff to read..... Part 1

Enjoy!!!!

Kind off uneasy when people tell me: "Sorry that my room is a mess"
Than I think to myself: "You should see my life.."

I read that I shouldn't be travelling any more this year.
"Really, is that what your horoscope told you?"
"No, my bankstatement..."

"Good evening. 1 Bacardi Cola please."
"It's 10 o'clock in the morning."
"Goodmorning, 1 Bacardi Cola please."

I'm not going to be happy with you,
but I had fun with you...

Should I help you
or would you rather break it yourself?

I would love to be there,
where my head is right now.

"What can I help you with anything, M'am?"
"Table for one. Drinks for two."

Why is it always after a relationship
that you notice how ugly your ex really is?

Sometimes the contence of a trashcan is more valuable
than the nature of some people.

"What are your hobbies?"
"Sleeping."
"I mean something that takes more effort?"
"Oooohh. Eating..."

I would love to buy me a new brain.
The current one is thinking way too much.

I hate it when reality doesn't take into account for my fantasy.