funny excerpt - security officer challenge

This is not a precise quote, but I think it is tone of how it reads.

The time-travelers' security officer's goals are, in order of priority:
1 Try to bring them back. If successful,
2 Try to bring them all back. If successful,
3 Try to bring them all back alive. If successful,
4 Try to bring them all back conscious. If successful,
5 Try to bring them all back undamaged.
6 Always keep an eye on the redhead (because she causes problems)
And good luck (because it is going to be near impossible).
And don't let the boss hear you call it "time travel", it's observing historic events in chronological time.

https://www.audible.com/pd/My-Name-is-Markham-Audiobook/B01MQSRLI1