Mum Furious After Finding Her Daughter’s ‘Private Toy’ In Dishwasher

Unloading the dishwasher isn’t exactly the most entertaining thing in the world. That is unless you find stacked among the plates and cups a fucking dildo.

According to Kelsie Lyons, that was exactly what her mum thought she had come across.

For whatever reason, I’ve never owned a dildo. But I’m guessing they require a decent scrub from time to time. And what are you gonna do, hose it down in the garden? Bollocks to that. Get it in the washer.

But all was not what it sTeemed (haha, get it? :)).

Kelsie took to Facebook to reveal that her mother had very much gotten the wrong end of the hmm, stick.

...

Yep, unfortunately this was all a false alarm. No-one had taken a spin on a dildo and then stuck it among the gravy-covered dishes and coffee-stained mugs.

It was just a boring melted cup.

Fuck 2017 man. Taking away the banter.