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You are the sidekick with the shifty eyes who muttered "yeah" after every come-back? The one with the bloody thumbs and the cheeto breath? Oh man. Did you start showering? And whatever happened with Wanda?

No, it's been scientifically proven that showering has a negative effect on your gameplay. I haven't done it in over a decade.

And for some strange reason Wanda left soon after that point...

Poor Wanda. I liked her. I remember her sitting on the couch, covered in hives from that cat allergy, waiting for you to blink in her direction.

I hear she's got a new boyfriend now. He's not as successful as you in gameplay - he showers every couple of weeks.

Did you have to rub it in? I still can't believe she got together with that noob.

Well at least I had my sweet, sweet revenge - I killed him so many times he was kicked from his guild.

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