Is Britain Supposed To Sound Like This?
I’m not sure what is happening in the wrong side of Britain tonight, but it sounds like they are using psychological warfare against us. As I’m sitting here, listening to what sounds like a kid beating away at the highest note on a xylophone, I think I have just lost my sanity.
Sarah went downtown to shop for some after-Christmas gifts, so I am in that weird position, where I have to navigate British culture alone and I suck at it. So, how am I supposed to deal with this?
A few minutes ago, I went outside in my underwear to find someone to yell at, but that’s when I realized the gravity of the situation: this awful sound wasn’t coming from some asshole neighbor. It is coming from somewhere in the distance and it is echoing off of every block within the inner city.
It sounds as if someone was getting house-jacked, but I didn’t see any houses making a getaway at high speeds with a baby in the back, in order to warrant all this damage to my eardrums.
So, while half naked, I yelled at some people walking by: “What the fuck! Tell them to shut the fuck up!”
I tried to seem extra aggressive in the hopes that these British people, might know the other British people that bought the loudest alarm in history.
In life, I have found that the least amount clothing I wear, the more menacing I appear when yelling at strangers, but the problem is: British people don’t seem to take me seriously. They hear my American accent and think this is some sort of joke, as if I’m doing an impersonation of someone on TV.
I can’t call the cops, because I’m not even sure if this is a crime and I have learned the hard way: never talk to cops!
The truth is, I’m probably breaking more laws than them anyways and I’m not sure if cops even come to this neighborhood at night. So, I really need to give them Texas justice, but unfortunately, I can’t walk that far.
I guess I’m just stuck with this agony until Sarah gets back, I imagine she has some secret code that she types into her phone and then everything goes back to normal.
For all I know, this is an early-warning-system and I should probably get in my duck-and-cover position, like we were taught in school. I know this sounds like a joke, but after two hours, this is seriously doing my head in, I can barely think and it is louder than my head phones.
British-people-problems, am I right?
Earmuffs that is what you need,
!tipuvote 0.2
Wow, those look like the best earmuffs ever!
I don't know but sometimes our libraries here even have long conversations and when I'm not in the mood to get up, I put on my earphones when I'm not wanting to listen to music. There was time when I told them to take the meeting outside.
To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:
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