Dear Life Letters

Dear Left Lane Pacer,
So... I see you have a bunch of shit in your back seat... I can also see what color hair your girlfriend has on her arms... how do I know this? Because, you stupid jackass, you have been pacing me for the past eight fucking miles on this two-lane highway. Every time I think I can pass this slow minivan in front of me, there you are in all your Prius glory -saving the world and shit one three-pronged-plug at a time- riding right beside me like a fucking Siamese twin... going the same speed... making sure we're all trapped in this five car square of hell with you and your fuzzy girlfriend. Put your foot on the pedal on the right and pass the minivan and then do us all a favor... pull the fuck over, shave your girlfriends arms, punch yourself in the face and then let her drive. You are the reason that anyone in a Prius is immediately marked as 'the fucktard to avoid' on the highways. Thanks and go fuck yourself.
Love, The Guy On Your RIGHT!