As I walked up to the counter of a gas station station, I was asked by the cashier why I was "walking all gimpy and limpy." When I replied that I had MS, she initially thought I said "I'm a mess." While this is technically true, I repeated myself. After she realized what I was saying, it was obvious she had no idea what to say in response...and yet for some strange reason she kept talking. Among the things she mentioned (with good intent) was a near normal lifespan. I'd like to say a stranger caring about my lifespan warmed my heart, but honestly it was awkward as fuck. In order to avoid future moments like this, I have complied a top ten list of witty things to say when people ask about visible mobility issues.

1. I'm drunk. Like, really drunk. Sooooo drunk.
2. I endured a relatively bad concussion and leg injury during Olympic figure skating practice. I just couldn't pull off that triple axel.
3. I have a tarantula in my pants.
4. What do you mean? Isn't The Gimp Walk trending on social media anymore?
5. Let me just tell you this, if you ever owe a mobster money, don't put off settling that debt.
6. You can see me!!!???
7. I have a lobster in my vagina.
8. That's a bit of a personal question to ask Madonna, don't you think? Keep asking me crap like that and you won't get my autograph!
9. I don't walk normal!?
10. I'm a porn star and I just worked a triple shift.