ADSactly Fun - Chair Breaker
I was in my place of work. I would like to say I was actually achieving something but instead, my day was being taken up with lots of pointless meetings. As usual, my foolproof method of surviving so many of these long dreary talkathons is to drink lots of coffee.
I would be the first to admit that it can make me a little hyper, a little manic even. Still, a man has to do what a man has to do. Even if that means riding the caffeine pony until it bites you in the behind.
The fourth one of my infernal meetings was after lunchtime.
It had been a long day and as such, I was armed with not only a cup of coffee but a cake as well. I was struggling to focus and thought that the combined whack of sugar and caffeine might just help me get by.
As the rest of the denizens filed in I noticed one guy, in particular, I had never met.
He was huge. A mountain of a man. His shirt bulged around his giant spherical middle and holding up his giant almost comical trousers was a set of red braces stretched over his torso.
I wondered if it was someone's birthday and we had hired a clown.
It became apparent as we did the usual round the table introduction malarkey that he wasn't a hired clown and instead was a real person.
The meeting started.
We were only about five minutes in when I heard a gravelly yelp followed by a thunderous crash.
Everyone leapt to their feet in horror. It was Red Braces. He had somehow fallen to the floor.
Like a big springy rubber cat, I bounded around the table in a giant caffeine fuelled leap and landed near the crash site of Red Braces.
I stared at the destruction sprawled out on the floor. I may have let out a little bit of a snorting laugh.
Oh my god?! You broke the chair!
I squealed in a high pitched giggly voice.
Red Braces rolled left and right in among the debris of what had once been a proud plastic office chair. He looked a bit like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with none of the grace or ninjacity.
Are you alright?
I said, bringing my voice down from girly giggly to loud and patient. In fact, very loud. As if he were deaf or a particularly slow-witted dog.
Do I look alright? He yelled, quite indignantly. Help me up?!
I grabbed his big meaty wrist and gave an experimental tug. He didn't budge.
Guys, a little help here?
I called to the others in the meeting. They were mostly just standing around staring, the occasional stifled titter could be heard.
We might need a crane.
One guy muttered unsympathetically.
The crane thankfully was not required. Three of us managed to hoist him to his knees and then fetch another chair for him to heave himself into.
The meeting carried on. All was forgotten or so it seemed. Afterwards, I was back at my desk. I had only been sat down on my return for about ten minutes when my boss came over.
BoomDawg, can I have a word in meeting room 6?
Yeah, sure.
I got up and followed him over to the meeting room. I hoped it was a quickie and I was not being dragged into yet another nonsense meeting. I opened the door of the room. To my surprise, the big guy Red Braces was there. My boss bade me have a seat.
BoomDawg, there has been a complaint made... It has been alleged that you said that... he gestured over to Red Braces who had a face like spoiled milk. Well, you said he broke his chair.
That is correct!
I beamed.
So you admit it?
Of course I do. He broke his chair. There was a meeting room full of people. We all saw it.
My boss leaned forward over the table.
The implication being of course that it was his weight?
I smiled a cold smile. A smile that told my boss I knew his game and his game was rubbish.
His weight? Oh goodness me? No. Why would that be a factor?
My boss looked over to Red Braces.
Well you know, because he is so heavy?
Hey! You can't say that?!
Interrupted Red Braces.
I sat and stared smugly at my boss who was now looking quite flustered.
Eh, no, I didn't mean that... I meant, erm. Well, I meant... BoomDawg?
Yes boss?
We are finished, you can go.
Cheers boss!
I got up and tipped them a wink. As I left I could hear the big chunky voice of Red Braces demanding an apology.
I chuckled, I loved outwitting the boss man, it made a day seem quite special.
What about you? Has someone ever tried to get the better of you and you have just turned the tables right on them?
Tell us your best tales in the comments. I will be there to listen!
Authored by: @meesterboom
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Okay I read through the entire story Boomdawg😉 and hey you did really great turning the right on them. You're such a smart ass, Red Brace's should be grateful you assisted him up from the floor because I you hadn't made the move to I bet other's wouldn't mind leaving him on the floor.
When you said
So my story while in school I had this lecturer who threatened to fail me for just no cause and it happened that when the results came out surprisingly he indicated I was absent in his course everyone knew I wrote.
It became goodness for him because I was to repeat a class but guess what?
Other lecturer's who invigilated I and my colleagues were shocked seeing such a remark leading to my resitting that level.
When I made a report accusing him of clearly wanting to fail me with all proof the Head Of Department gave him a sound warning and he was asked to provide my script that he dumped somewhere in his office, mark it and give me my grades.
Gladly I turned the tables against him because it became obvious that he was out to fail an innocent female student.
Hehehhehehee.
Thanks for sharing your story author @meesterboom🤗💯
You were victorious! Which is splendid!
Well, of all the prestige awards I see you were upvoted by Steemkitchen. I guess in it's way this was a wonderful recipe for out witting the boss.
It's a really fun story except for the real world implications. I have a quite a nice chair in my motorcycle work area. The wheels work fine and it's the easy way to get around when working on a bike. The unfortunate part is that it used to be an office chair-mine. Seems I really did need the 300 lb version. Who knew?
Thanks for a wonderful account.
The seal of approval from steemkitchen is all as man needs!! :0D
That's a hilarious story but it's a little disconcerting that someone can be so sensitive. But yeah, just saying someone broke a chair - it doesn't have to just be because of their weight, maybe the chair itself wasn't well built, and merely stating what happened is absolutely no crime.
Meeting heavy days are no fun, coffee can help, maybe a bit too much. Sounds like you were super hyper anyway, even first one to the scene of the crash!
People trying to get the better of me, hard to come up with stories right off the top of my head... I'm pretty bad at improvising, let alone finding ways to smoothly turn the tables. The main thing I can do, while say creating an app for a team and the team complains that weird data is showing up - we just have to make sure we log every action from every person so then we can say that "the app is totally fine; does this person remember doing this action at this time?" Although I guess in general the people I work with are pretty respectful so I don't have to worry about this so much, but maybe that means I also don't get practice in making these sorts of off-the-cuff-of-the moment rebuttals or the like.
Another great story @meesterboom. One of the things I really like when reading your story is those tiny and cute stickers 😀 they added emotion and bring up the imaginations 😀
Sometimes, it feels great too when you out wit your bosses🤣 I wouldn't argue with that. Just like an Epic Comeback or Reflect Damage in computer games.
While reading your story, I was also thinking of when did I ever break my boss🤣. I guess none, because I always let them outwit me for them to think they really have outwitted me (I hope that really made sense though) hahaha. Come one guys, they beed to feel that because they are the boss😎
Well, thank you for the great story @meesterboom and @adsactly... It was like reading a comics because of those stickers in the story😊🙃
Voted for @adsactly
Funny story!...:)...
I guess that is a big problem, the weight thing. Once you put it on, it's hard to lose it. And then you get emotional with others because you hate yourself for not being able to do anything. Damn I hate people who blame others for their own problems
There is no problem that cannot be fixed I always say
It's always nice to outwit your boss. However, you'll probably score low on the people points.
That is true but it's worth it!
Cheers a lot of beer out there.
Hey you have got upvote and resteem from me
I really want to get a job, have fun in the office and every month get a salary,
But What power I do not have it, just being fate in steemit to earn money,
To meet daily needs.
Thanks for sharing @adsactly
I hope you find a job. Never give up!
smiling,,,i'm also on my working place...doing the same thing...
Breaking chairs or breaking bosses!! :0)