On Frustrations and I-Wish-I-Had’s

Have you ever thought that maybe, you were meant to do something else, something a whole lot different than your current job? That maybe, your life could’ve taken a completely different turn if only you have pursued learning a particular skill? I know you have. I have. I still have.

Life is full of frustrations – from the irritations of daily traffic, to the highest frustrations of not being able to do something because you lack certain skills. The feeling can take so much out of you, as it distracts you and sucks much of your energy, that your whole day could be affected.

If you were like me, you are a talentless little human being.

I am a person with little to no talent nor skill. I have tried, believe me, I have tried so hard to learn new skills, but unfortunately, it seems that these skills don’t want me to learn them. Does that make sense?

Now, I’ll be sharing my greatest frustrations in life - talents or skills which I wish I have learned or I have the guts, patience and time to learn.

Playing the Guitar

Oh! I would love to learn how to play the guitar more than any other instruments. I wanted to learn back in high school and college, as I have friends who were band members at the time. But, due to budget constraints, I couldn’t ask my parents to buy me one, as we were very poor then. So, even if I wanted to learn, I wouldn’t be able to have my own guitar.

Fast forward to when I was 23 or 24. I already have work. Money problems were decreasing. Finally, I was able to buy my own guitar. I bought a white one. I tried self-learning first before considering enrolling in a formal lesson. Others just learned how to play by themselves, so why can’t I? So, I printed the basic chords, I watched video tutorials, I read tips and articles. I tried learning the basics. And oh boy it felt good. But my hands and fingers hurt. And then, I stopped. I had little time practicing, I was busy with work, until I became too lazy to even remove the guitar out of its case. So, it just remained there for several years. Then, my friend asked me to trade my guitar for a maroon Jansport bag. And guess what? Of course I agreed. I just traded my guitar for a maroon Jansport bag.

Swimming

For someone who grew up near hundreds of swimming resorts in Pansol, Calamba, Laguna, you would’ve thought that I have learned how to swim. If we were new friends and you checked on my photo albums in Facebook, you would’ve thought that I am a good swimmer, as I have also been to countless resorts and beaches. But, no. I don’t know how to swim.

So, whenever I go island hopping and snorkeling, I would request for a floatation vest and life buoy so I could go around the waters, though I still won’t go far from the boat. I couldn’t go deep into the water. I couldn’t jump from the boat. I couldn’t just float around the boat while basking the beauty of the sea.

Whenever we are in swimming pools, I couldn’t join the pool games. All I can do is stay and hold on to the perimeter gutter, because I couldn’t go to the middle of the pool.

I hadn’t learned how to swim probably because I drowned when I was 2 or 3. I had a phobia, so I didn’t want to go deep in the water. I know I have outgrown the phobia, but for me, it’s too late. Looking back, I wish I had conquered my fear earlier so I would’ve learn how to swim. I know I can still learn, that I’m not too old to still learn, but I know I wouldn’t be able to join classes and be with students who are decades younger than I am. Geez. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

Learning a new Language/Dialect

I wish I had enrolled in a three-unit minor language subject in college. My friends enrolled in Japanese or French. They may not be fluent in those languages and they may not have used it after the course, but at least they experienced learning, and conversing and writing in it.

I am amazed by people who can speak at least three languages. Most Filipinos know at least two – English and a local dialect, like Tagalog. Then, there are still a significant number of Filipinos who can speak English, Tagalog and another local dialect, like Ilonggo or Bicolano. If I were to try learning a new dialect, I know I will get frustrated and learn nothing at all.

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I still have a lot of frustrations which I would have wanted to share, but writing them down just makes me sad. Lol.

I know that not being able to learn these skills cuts me off from certain life experiences. I guess I am simply not born with these skills, which I have already accepted, but at random times still make me think about what difference it would have made in my life.

But then again, yeah. Whatever.

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