Yeah, having the extra time combined with the need to shorten it really distilled it down into the essentials. Then it was so bite sized that when you read it, the ride is quicker and you're just dropped into the nightmare. The longer version builds up to it a bit more, which to me feels like it gives you more room to avoid the uncomfortable parts.

Also, thanks! For the comment, the link, and for helping out with the freewrite stuff. I certainly would if I had more time, but such is life.