Feeling Sad? Read This.
I feel sad once in a while. Do you?
If you came to this post is probably because: - You’re feeling sad; - You've ever felt sad; - You’re interested in what I have to say. – You came from a link on Discord. Whatever your reason is, we all have good days and bad days. Come on. Admit it. Being human means that feeling down is a part of us, just like feeling happy.
The society we live praises the happy, extrovert and sociable individuals, even if they’re hiding the sadness behind that ‘mask’. I always try to spread love and positivity, but it doesn’t mean that everything are roses all the time. We’re sensitive beings and it’s ok to feel vulnerable.
I’ve been listening to a song called “Clearly” by Grace Vanderwall. It’s a reinterpretation of “I Can See Clearly Now” by Jimmy Cliff. I could never predict how much it would make me reflect, inspiring me to write this post. I will use some of its quotes to help me explain my point here. Maybe you can use it as a background while you read.
Take this space to be whatever you are, to feel whatever you feel.
There's a world outside my door
I don't know it anymore
I'm gonna stay here now
I'm gonna stay here now
Close the curtains, cut the lights
Match the darkness in my mind
It's gonna take me down
It's gonna take me down
It’s easy to close us in our sorrow and let the problems take over our mental state. You think there’re many reasons to feel down and helpless. All we want is to lock up and “match the darkness” in our mind.
If you’re scared of showing your emotions or admitting you have them, let me tell you one thing: The more you hide these feelings, the stronger it gets. Admitting your fragilities is the first step to know how to handle them.
All the roads I've been before
Same mistakes always got me shakin'
And all the signs I once ignored
In my denial, I didn't want to face them
It’s easy to ignore the things that make us feel down and push the problems into the future. In this exercise, we’re going to think about the reasons why we feel down. This is the toughest part: Facing your problems. Say it out loud, write it in a paper or draw it out. Do it like nobody will hear it or see it.
Embrace the fact that we all have flaws, we all make mistakes. Remember that you can’t always fix all of yours or the world’s problems. Cry, if you need to. Scream, if you need to. Let go of the emotions that have been stuck in your throat, stopping you from breathing properly. Is it something you can change? If it is, what are the steps to do so? If not, why suffering for something you can’t change?
I can see clearly now
The rain has gone
I accept all the things that I cannot change
Gone are the dark clouds
The dawn has come
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day
(…)
Take a breath and say a prayer
Find the strength in my despair
It's not gonna take me down
It's not gonna take me down
You can see your feelings clearly now. It was tough, painful and it made you think about things you didn’t want to. It’s like an inner thunderstorm that, after running out of thunder and rain, became a beautiful sunny day.
The line “I accept all the things that I cannot change” is my favorite. It’s so incredibly powerful! Accepting who you are, your scars and imperfections is a beautiful thing. Like Susan David said – “Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is fear walking.” We grow to be better human beings when we learn from our weaknesses and find strength in our despair.
Ok, you’ve let all your feelings out. You faced your mistakes and problems. Now relax. Take a bath, go for a walk, have a tea, go to sleep. Do anything that makes you feel relaxed.
Tomorrow will be better! Being wise is not to fix all our problems and weaknesses, but to know how to handle and live with them. There’s always something positive about anything. You just need to focus on the good side. I learnt that life becomes easier when I started accepting who I am and stopped comparing myself to others; when I started looking at imperfections and mistakes as something special rather than a burden.
Seek help is not being weak. If you think you can’t go through it by yourself, talk to someone – either a friend, someone from your family or a professional. As I mentioned in my other posts, having a good mental health is as important as having a good physical health. Being happy is not a final destination, but a journey – and overcoming bad days is part of it.
Hope this text could help you somehow. Have a wonderful Wednesday!! :)))
Thank you for this post and I also thank @maverickinvictus for sending me a link to this post as he knows I needed it.
It has been difficult for me to be real especially in public because as you said:
Just the other day, one of the big bosses in our office asked me: "Why are you silent?" as if there was something wrong with it. I responded and told him I have always been silent.
Unfortunately, I'm expected to always engage and be sociable at work. And that's really difficult when I had to pretend. I did that and my depression got worse.
So right now, I like being alone because that's when I can be myself and feel what I have to feel, without consequences.
Thanks for this beautiful and relatable post.
I relate a lot to your comment. I don't talk much to people I don't know or don't feel comfortable with. I've always struggled to feel part of groups in school, as I just enjoy being quiet and by my own. It's not because we don't have anything to say, but because we just like having space and talking when we want to (at least in my case).
I started being more myself after graduating from college, though. Even at the work office, I would do my own thing without caring much about what other people think. If people can't respect who you are, that's their problem, not yours. The ones that respect your personality, are the people that truly matters. I've been working remotely for 3 years and it helps a lot with it.
Liking being alone is a good thing. It make us more reflective and conscious :) Thank you for sharing your story!
I find that I am just usually with 1-3 people who truly get me and know my personality. Sure I am sociable at times but often I just want to go home and read silently.
Oh how I want to just work from home!
Thank you for sharing your story too! I also want to work remotely like you and I believe that would take out a lot of stress we get in an office setting.
I am glad that you found the post helpful and I relate to you as I also work in Employee relations and you are just expected to be happy and fully motivated all the time when there are a lot of times you feel so bad and don't want to go out.
Being unhappy is seen to be wrong as if we want to be depressed and unhappy :(
Just know wanderlass we are always here ready just be there
Thank you for sharing this to me! They just wouldn't understand. There's a model employee that they would like everyone to become. They force all those non-work activities for the sake of "engagement" without bothering to check on people at an individual level.
Yeah one of my former boss thought that if you give a person enough money and incentives that they basically have the right to make them slaves and control their lives even what they put in their social media and who their friends are.
Introspection is much harder when you haven't made friends with yourself first!
Thanks for the detailed article.
Namaste, JaiChai
That's so true! You will need to live with yourself for the rest of yourself so might as well just be your own best friend. Thank you for commenting! :)
Hello @julimattos you have been included in or daily featured post upon the recommendation of @maverickinvictus. As part of being recommended you will be given the opportunity to recommend another steemian blog post which you think should also be included in our daily featured post. Just reply to us the link and the a simple explanation why it should be included. Hope to hear from you soon. Stay awesome as you are.
Thank you so much! I feel so grateful for being mentioned on your featured post. It's truly an honour!
I'd like to mention @happycrazycon and her post "A Tutor's Tale Part 5: Should Social Emotional Education Be Taught?". The post starts with a question a student made: "Teacher, why do we have physical education but there isn't emotional education?". It's a very complete and educational text she wrote in response to that question. What I liked the most is the story behind the student's struggles at school and how he sought help and advice, being honest about his feelings.
https://steemit.com/education/@happycrazycon/a-tutor-s-tale-part-5-should-social-emotional-education-be-taught
I've done it so many times, Been the rock that the foundation of strength been built and is expected to be strong and happy and positive even when things get tough.
So many people looking up to me that I cannot appear weak or feel troubled,
SO i hid behind masks and always said I am okay even when I am not.
Life gets me down and sometimes I just hide behind a book or sleep.
Yet indeed admiting that you are not okay is one of the best things that you can for yourself. Overcoming bad days a part of the journey.
I love this piece Juli and thank you for sharing it.
Yes, I totally understand that. I think it's something we do as a response to that pressure of being happy and "strong" all the time. But, in my point of view, being strong is also being able to admit when things are tough and growing up from it.
As long as you're truthful to yourself and give yourself space and time to heal, that's what matters. :) Thank you for your feedback Mr.! hehe or just Mave :)
A lovely, honest and warming post. Will be sure to bookmark this for the rainy days :)
Thank you! I hope it can bright your rainy days :)) xx
Without one how could we know the other. I am an outgoing extrovert with a mask as below the surface I am a super anxious and previously a depressed person. While I have the depression under control the anxiety is still a huge issue and impedes on my daily life.
I really liked the song and resonated with it. Somedays it is so hard to leave the house. Thanks for your post, it made me smile. Happy hump day to your too, although it is now throwback Thursday lol
This is so true and so important! If we were never sad, we'd never know what happiness is. The most important is to be truthful to you and not to put pressure on yourself for something you can't control.
When you accept your anxiety and embrace who you are, everything goes smoothly. :) I have social anxiety but it goes on and off. I used to hide it a lot but I decided to accept it and to not judge myself for it.
Thank you for sharing/commenting :) I'm really glad my post made you smile!! Well, happy Friday/Saturday/weekend :)
Too many good points:
There's too much stress going on with life, if we will always be thinking about them then it will just drag the positive energy that the universe is throwing at us. Be a beacon of hope and joy! Oh I suddenly recall @hundredlbsbeauty on this post.
Some people would say that an honest and concern friend is much better than speaking to a professional who may be distant at times. There's a lot of things that we cannot do alone and that is humans are social beings.
Ehmergerd! Too many English words already I am on quota now. Byee!
That's true. There're always two ways of seeing things - the positive and the negative. If we focus on the positive side, everything will be easier and most pleasant. Good actions and thoughts attract good things.
Seeking help on other people is very important. Friends and family can help a lot - I always feel better after calling and talking to people I like and trust. In some cases, though, a professional might be helpful if the person doesn't have anyone to talk to or anyone that he/she feel comfortable enough to talk to. Thank you for your feedback!! :))
Good article, good song.
It is interesting how society acts.
We are expected to be happy and cheerful. If we're sad, then a kind word from a friend is meant to magically fix it... or else we're supposed to pull ourselves up with our bootstraps. On the other hand, if we're doing too well, then society is jealous and wants to bring us down to their level again... Anything outside their norm is uncomfortable for them.
That societal attitude doesn't help any of us! It doesn't address our needs or anything about who we are. Society isn't our friend - our closest friends are those friends - the ones who really do accept us - as HUMAN! :-)
Thanks for the thoughtful article!
That's true! Society is very complex and a bit confusing too. If we're always going to be criticized by being too sad or too happy, we might as well just be ourselves and don't feel ashamed about it. Close friends and family are the most important, as well as the relationship with ourselves. The others will always judge, but it's up to us to ignore it and focus on what matters. :)
Thank you for commenting!! :)
Fearless and honest Self-reflection are key during such sad times. You name so many important aspects.
Thanks
Self-reflection is so much needed. Thank you! :)
The pleasure is mine. Thanks
This is a topic that more people need to write about!
being sad or depressed is part of life and no one is happy all the time. It's OKAY to be sad!!!
I don't know anyone that is happy all the time and if I met someone that thought they were I would think they were not tellling the truth.
Great post!!
Yes, it is. It's easy to ignore and pretend everything is ok, when it's actually not. What's hard is to admit that times are tough and to face the problems, learning from them.
Thank you so much for your comment!! :)))