Shouldst I Praise Thee? Doth Thee Killeth Me, O' Lord? [Will The Hard Fork Kill Us?]
(Is this a fork god of demons on its way to earth, ready to unleash its wrath upon us all, or is it a good guy, preventing an awful future and instead serves to pave a road to success?) Image
Oh Lord, I praise thee! Thee cometh in two days, and I prayeth to thee. I standeth here, by mine own company's facilities; mine own fusty house. All of us at Huggson e. Inc await thee, enwheeling me, Stratched Scratchford Earnstein, but thee startle us, for thee taketh us by hoyday. Oh wherefore has't thee cometh to putteth thy fork in our landeth? Lest thee spareth us! Oh, lest thee spareth us!
O' Lord, lest thee spareth us!!!
I am in doubteth yond we shall outlast this wint'r shouldst mine own rewards beest taken hence from us to yond we cannot payeth our employees; our gardeners, our security personnel, the masseurs and our psychotherapists couldst wend without wat'r, roof and bread, shouldst we loseth our rewards to thee because of thy sharp ire, O' Lord of Cutl'ry! Oh, how shall this affect the outcome of our futures, oh mine own lord!? Shall our liveth changeth after thy most wondrous fork?
I wanteth to wisheth thee farewell, and I shall seeth all of thee lief. This is Earnstein, and I shall wend anon. Farewell to thee.
- Stratched Scratchford Earnstein
(What will happen to the little guy once the hard fork is applied, decreasing the inflation by approximately 20 times?) Image
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your pseudo-archaic English is painfully terrible... but I chuckled nonetheless.