I made some cakes - Food Fight Friday Round 23 meets Comedy open mic Round 43
Hey folks... happy #ffff to each and every one of you. No it's not a typo, I did add an extra f. I figured that since it's the festive season, technically it's a festive food fight friday so...
Never mind that Sivehead, tell us about the cakes!
Ok, Ok, jeez... fed up with Christmas already aye?
Yeah, me too if I'm honest 🙄
So, about these cakes,
Their super simple to make and would probably only take a normal person 10 minutes to make. Me however, it took around an hour and 15 minutes. This is how to make them like me.
We call them Rice Crispy Cakes
Ingredients:
Rice Crispies - I used a 375g box
Chocolate - I used 5 x 100g bars
It's a very forgiving recipe so you can adjust the quantity if you like. Or say 'screw it', pour some milk on your Rice Crispies, eat them for breakfast and save yourself any hasle.
If you decide to go ahead with the cakes...
Step 1: Empty Rice Crispies in to a mixing bowl.
Step 2: ignore wifey shouting "You don't need that many!", while thinking to yourself - who's making these, me or you?!
Step 3: Break up your three chocolate bars in to a microwave safe bowl.
As you can see I went with cheap-ass milk chocolate. Yeah, I'm a whimp... if I had any balls... nuts, I would of gone with Fruit 'n' Nut. Now that would of been an interesting.
Step 4: Melt chocolate in microwave. How long for?... your guess is as good as mine. I was winging it. I went with 30 second bursts until it was runny enough to pour.
Step 5: Again, ignore wifey talking at you, this time saying "You're gonna need more chocolate than that if you're using all those Rice Crispies!". And while thinking to yourself - shut up, that's loads of chocolate there... it'll be fine, continue by pouring your freshly melted chocolate over the bowl of Rice Crispies.
Step 6: Now this is the tricky bit. Stir the chocolate in to the Rice Crispies until thoroughly mixed. Preferably without the Rice Crispies spilling out of the bowl.
Step 7: Look closely at your mixture and think - Shit!, what was that wifey said... too many Rice Crispies, not enough chocolate?! Damn!
Step 8: Without wifey seeing, break up the other two chocolate bars in to your microwave safe bowl and melt as before. Quickly add the extra chocolate to Rice Crispies/chocolate mix and continue stirring as if you hadn't ballsed up at all.
Step 9: Glance across at your daughter to see if she noticed your mistake, and that Mum knows Dad's useless in the kitchen without constant supervision.
Nope! Your safe. She's too busy making her own mess.
Great👍
Step 10: Get your cup cake cases out and... uh really...
Well that's not enough! - Interrupt your daughter and send her to the local shop to grab more cases.
Step 11: While you wait for the daughter to return, pray that your mix doesn't set too quickly, but just in case, go to plan B. Get a cake tin from the cupboard and line with greaseproof paper. Then spread an inch thick layer of your mix on to the greaseproof.
Step 12: As soon as daughter returns, share the remaining mix out among the new acquired cup cake cases.
Step 13: Ok, the final step. Take your still squishy Rice Crispy cakes and as you're about to put them in the fridge to set, pay close attention to wifey when she says "You can't put them in there... I need that space for my stuff!"
Step 14: Reply to wifey "Ok dear!", because you know you don't need to be in her bad books right now. Then take your lovely Rice Crispy cakes out and put them in the Man Cave to finish setting. (No not the dog house... the garage.) It's winter, it's probably colder out there than it is in the fridge anyway.
And there you go...
That's how to make delicious Rice Crispy cakes the Sivehead way. 😁👍
Now, about half way through writing this, I decided to cheat try and save a bit of time. And it is the season for gatherings. I'm gonna introduce the #foodfightfriday contest to the #comedyopenmic gang, and enter both.
As part of the rules for comedyopenmic I need to nominate two people. So I'm gonna pick on two people from the #fff crew... @dandays, I know for sure you won't let me down, and for the second... umm... what about you @thebigsweed, I'm sure you've got a funny story or three.
That's it for now folks - Happy #ffff
Until next time- Stay safe
~ Sivehead
Ps: Sorry @dandays... I forgot the heads up again
Hi sivehead,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Oh man, those damn wives just don’t understand the method to the madness do they?! This really made me giggle.. awesome narration and seriously.. how did you make a recipe post so long that seriously was mixing two ingredients together and pouring them in a pan? I’m super impressed.. I need to learn this Jedi magic here.
Not a clue... lol. Wifey is always telling me that me stories are too long.
Great idea double entering this one to #fff and #comedyopenmic together. Good lookin out, I may have to do that one of these Friday’s.
You had me laughing from the beginning with that hour and 15 minutes, ha! Great entry chef @sivehead, good luck!
Thanks a lot for nomination, I’m jumping on that plane next week, though, it may take me a little minute to get to it but “deal!” Do you think my jokes are too dirty for #steemit?
“The black horse fell in the snow.”
“The white horse fell in the mud.”
Thanks @dandays, I'm glad you liked it. As for the nomination, I know you're probably itching to post another COM post so it was a no brainer really. Besides you are only #fff Contender with more funny bones than a normal person should have, that I could think of.
I may have stretched the truth just a teensy weencie bit when I said “it may take me a little minute.”
And I might have immediately got to work on it so it can be released before I get on that plane.... mission accomplished! I’ll post it on Monday, thanks again for the nomination dude, you’re easily one of the funniest people I’m following.
See you on #fff(F)riday!
source
Rewarding Your Original Work
Awesome 👍
Can I join the trail?
Edit - too late... I did already 😁👍
Silly Sive...your always welcome on my trail...just watch out for the droppings
If you see any worthy posts just reply to one of my comments with the link and I will get to Splattin’
Steem On!!
Food Fight Friday
May your contender survive and not be placed in a permanent food coma.
Thanks Mr @foodfightfriday. 👍
Funny read, and a delicious, less than nutritious, mouth watering, holiday treat.
It is a imperative to keep the wife happy, or where would we be when it comes to applying some expertise to many of the dishes us guys enter into #fff.
@sivehead Thanks for the invite to participate in #comedyopenmic. #dandays invited me to participate several weeks ago and I will give it a try.
To really have a good sense of humor, I feel that you need to be able to laugh at yourself. My first entry may be a situation that occurred recently.
Even though the laughter was at my expense I love sharing the circumstance that led up to this very funny, totally explainable, could happen to anyone event.
Thanks again, I will review the rules and make sure I can follow them all.
At times I have a hard time following rules and regulations and that is the a big part of the reason I live in the middle of the woods.😁😁😁
Just a couple of rules and regulations that always annoyed me.
Take these 2 signs for example. First of all, if you can't swim and you do, well then. Why am I restricted from a refreshing dip because some idiot t needs to be reminded that if he goes in the water and can't swim he will drown.
Guess what, if you're in an environment where these boys live, don't swim, if you do your an idiot and you stupidity will catch up with you sooner of later.
Lets have a drink
Thanks @thebigsweed. You're definitely right! I discovered a phrase very early in my marriage that goes like this - happy wife, happy life!... it's not wrong!
I see what you mean with those signs too. That last one is hilariously pointless.
Thanks for wasting time reading my drivel. 👍
Anything that makes me smile and laugh is never a waste of my time. To me a waste of time is sleeping past 4 am.
Those treats look delicious and the story was equally entertaining @sivehead. Great job NOT nominating me, I know I still owe you one. Happy food fight friend!
Thank you Queen @puravidaville. It truly was hard work making all those cakes all by myself. I think next time I might have to try something easier.
You did a fantastic job! My secret is the more chocolate the better :). Works everytime.
We call them "Chocolate Crackles". An absolute delicacy. I love them.
I learned two things: the wife must never see you fuck up in the kitchen because she already expects you to fuck up.
You must always interfere with your kids when you're cooking, that way they'll remember the day daddy
fucked upcooked something.Lol @belemo. Only the realest response I’ve read all day, that’s all.
At least I learned something😂
I'm glad you were able to read between the line and learn two of the secrets of how to be the perfect man! 😁
Thanks for sparing the time to read my drivel @belemo
You're a riot with the wifey quotes, loved your post
Thanks @farm-mom, glad you liked it.