Further adventures of Procyon the Plumber

in #food7 years ago

So here we go.
Another of my tales from years in the plumbing trade.
Plugged sink call...pretty normal.

I begin my tale of humour with the beginning of what seemed like a normal call for us. A plugged sink, mess on the floor, please hurry, etc.

Our superhero (me) arrives to find a damsel in distress upset that her sink overflowed.
See it all the time. Bacon grease, coffee grinds, food chunks, everything that people decide to put down their sink that they shouldn't. Seen it all.

Funny part of this was the swearing. Lots of it. The lady was incredibly mad at her children as she was certain that it was their fault. F%&king kids, F$#king this, F@%king that. I thought that those kids were goners when they got home from school.
I felt sorry for her as it was a mess and proceeded to work my plumbing magic.

She had a garburator (food disposal unit) and it was so plugged that I had to take it all apart under the sink.
That is when the fun began.
As I disassembled the piping I encountered some kind of abysmal gunk that had packed the piping so hard I had to use a screwdriver to remove it.
I am not joking...it looked like the pink slime meat product we all heard about.pink-slime_large.jpg

I pulled out about 3 ice cream pails of the stuff by the time it was clean.
I re-assembled the sink, ran all my drain and leak tests, and called over the homeowner to help her figure out what her kids had done.
She went white.
It turns out that she had been cooking a huge pasta dinner the night before and had ruined a large pot of it.
Instead of throwing it in the garbage she began stuffing it down the garburator.
Her husband even asked her if "that was a good idea?" She told me she told him to "mind you business, the kitchen is mine and I know what I'm doing."
Excellent!
She then asked me to help write up the invoice. She actually made me write on it that I found hockey tape in there. She was getting me to blame her husband.
Unfortunately he wasn't there, she had the chequebook so damn right I threw him under the bus. Sorry Bro!
Told her if she ever needed to cover up a plumbing disaster I was her man. We could blame them on whomever she wanted.

Moral of the story:
a) Don't put a gigantic bowl of pasta down your drain....no wait...do it and then get a hold of me. I'm good at cleaning it out.
b) Pay your plumber enough and he'll throw whoever you want under a bus.
Please comment on: Should I make these shorter or are they OK at this length? Don't want to be boring.
pasta.jpg

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Starch. Makes me wonder what it does to our bodies.... but then again, it is yummmmmmmy.

Think it's pretty good at plugging up my system too. LOL.

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