YOU WANT TO MAKE TACOS AND GUACAMOLE

That's not a question, it's a fact. Let me quickly explain the benefits:

1. You've been reading the marijuana threads, your blazed as fuck, and you need some munchies. These tacos are doja dank approved.
2. You're dating a girl who can't cook or you're going on a date with a girl and want to impress her with your prowess in the kitchen. This is the perfect opportunity for you because (a) bitches love tacos and (b) a man who can cook has what those of us in the sales business call a "value proposition". I've used these tacos for many first dates and have been finely rewarded with sexual favors many a time shortly after consumption.
3. Maybe you want to better yourself as a human and learn a new skill or some corny shit like that.

Whatever your reasoning, I got you.

I started heavily experimenting with taco recipes many years ago and have distilled what I've learned into this video/tutorial.

THINGS WORTH NOTING

1. Less is more. I used to go overboard with spices and seasonings and extra ingredients and shit. Not necessary.
2. Crockpots are the fucking shit for making shredded meat. If you don't want to do shredded meat, I recommend doing grilled chicken or throwing some chicken in the skillet and searing the shit out of it. I prefer slightly (or extremely) blackened because I like the taste of cancer. Maybe I'm an oddball there. I don't really know.

STEP 1: GO TO THE GROCERY STORE

Buy this list of shit for Guacamole:

1. 2 Avocados (ripe ones -- if you get hard ones they won't mash up and you'll look like an idiot)
2. 1 Roma Tomato
3. 1 White Onion
4. Fresh Garlic
5. 1 Bundle Cilantro
6. 1 Lemon
7. Hot Sauce
8. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
9. Salt and Pepper

Buy this list of shit for Tacos:

1. White Corn Tortillas
2. A Big Ass Slab Of Meat (Beef, Chicken, Pork)
3. 2 Bell Peppers (red is better for beef but it doesn't matter)
4. 2 Roma Tomatoes
5. Feta Cheese

STEP 2: MAKE TACO FILLING

1. Get your crock pot or skillet or whatever and put your big ass piece of meat into it.
2. Chop up your bell peppers and tomatoes and throw them in there too.
3. Set that shit on low and go away. Do it at night and go to sleep. Do it in the morning and go to work. Do it on the weekend, take a percocet, and go masturbate for a while.
4. After like 5 or 6 hours, your hunk of meat should fall apart, juices from the vegetables will have been extracted, and shit will be generally awesome. That's it.

STEP 3: MAKE GUACAMOLE (FUCK YEAH!)

1. Smash up an avocado or two. Throw them bitches in a bowl.
2. Cut up a tomato and throw it in with the avocado.
3. Dice up some onions but WASH THEM OFF IN A COLANDER. If you don't do this, you'll cry like a bitch. People eating your guacamole might cry like bitches too. No one should cry when they eat guacamole unless it's out of pure fucking ecstasy. Guess where the onions go? Yeah, in the bowl. Good job.
4. Mince a clove of garlic. Throw that shit on the floor. No, actually in the bowl. Just seeing if you're paying attention. You can do more garlic, but odds are if you do too much, you'll start uncontrollably farting and alienating everyone in the vicinity.
5. Chop up cilantro and into the motherfucking bowl it goes. BUT WASH IT OFF FIRST YOU SAVAGE.
6. Squeeze a lemon over all that shit. If seeds shoot out, pick them out. Or not. You definitely have the option of catching lemon seeds in your mouth as you eat your guacamole. If you're into that sorta thing, fuck it, do you.
7. Liberally apply hot sauce to your pile of ingredients.
8. Add extra virgin olive oil, salt, and pepper.
9. Mash and mix all that shit. Fucking yeah! Guacamole!

STEP 4: TACO CONSTRUCTION

1. Throw a couple tortillas in your skillet with some extra virgin olive oil and crisp them bitches up a bit. Not too much, but there's a lot of juiciness to the taco filling, so you want them to be a consistency that isn't going to fall apart or get soggy. Plus a bit of crunchiness adds good texture.
2. If your taco filling needs warmed up, throw it in the skillet while it's still hot. If you've got it chillin' in the crock pot or another skillet, you're straight. Move on to the next step.
3. Put your taco filling on the tortilla and top with guacamole and feta cheese.

STEP 5: TACO CONSUMPTION

1. Put that dank ass shit in your mouth.

STEP 6: SOCIAL MEDIA WHORING

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