Great post! As a service industry worker I had some thoughts.

No one should every touch the "business" end of your utensil when handing it to you. We fold our utensils in a napkin when we give it to the customer. But in reality, several people have had their hands on them to dry, polish then put them into the basket that you see on the tables.

It's not just you, the staff hates wobbly tables too. We have a stone floor which is uneven and there are screws that can be adjusted under each leg to compensate for an uneven floor. The problem is when it gets busy tables are moving around to accommodate customers and it gets difficult to flip over every table and adjust it during service.

The bad pour? Did they not pour enough? Not enough head? Too much head? I worked at a place where the tap would pour half a glass of head on the first beer than none on the second. What do you consider worse? Just curious so I can improve my service.

Plates should be cleared constantly as we go so dishes don't pile up in the kitchen all at once. It also makes resetting tables faster. Although some people get mad if you clear plates before everyone is done eating.

I actually do your method of, "I'll be right back with some change" and agree with this. Inside I am just hoping that if they do need change they will say something like, "Just a $5 back" or some round number so I am not running around asking my coworkers if I can borrow 47 cents while they are taking an order just to have the customer leave it as part of my tip. Many restaurants have no cashier or register and require their servers to bring their own money to make change for the customers.