What is the most annoying mistake Americans make with Italian food, according to Italians?

This includes everything from ingredients to eating habits.

Number one is, of course, overcooked pasta. Italians will tell you that that’s what you get in a hospital :-)

Next up is pasta with ketchup. This is pure blasphemy. Let’s save ketchup for French fries.

Pizza with pineapple comes in a close third. This is really weird. It’s like Americans having a cheeseburger with Nutella, the Italian hazelnut cocoa spread.

Another American invention which puzzles the Italian mind is pepperoni pizza. First off, peperoni means bell peppers in Italian, yet Italian observers see round slices of salame looking quizzically back at them. Where are the bell peppers, a disoriented Italian wonders. The closest type of pizza to this peculiarity that a person could order in Italy would be pizza al salame piccante [spicy salami pizza], at times called pizza alla Diavola [devil’s pizza].

Marinara sauce is another puzzle for the Italian. Indeed, there is a type of Neapolitan pizza called pizza alla marinara (tomato, garlic, oregano, and oil), but why would a sauce be “marinara”? Another mystery for the visiting Italian, like the Easter island moai.

Combining spaghetti with meatballs is the next Americanism that stumps Italians upon their arrival. We keep spaghetti and meatballs separate. A typical Italian meal has a first course (usually a pasta dish), a second course (for instance, meat & vegetable), then a dessert and some fruit. No Italian sees the need to cram everything onto one plate. Yes, it cuts down the number of dishes that need washing, but saving dishwater seems a poor reason to meddle with the food that comes before it.

Then there is the transgression of sprinkling cheese pizza slices with Parmesan cheese. Italians sprinkle their Parmesan on pasta, almost never on pizza, unless, for instance, it’s arugola pizza on the plate.

Next to make an Italian shudder is the depravity of spreading pesto sauce on sandwiches. Pesto, every bambino italiano knows originated in Genoa, and primarily belongs on pasta, especially the two types of Ligurian pasta known as trenette and troffie.

Some Americans think that Italian kids must love Alfredo sauce. They probably would, if they knew what it is. No such sauce is popular in Italy.

Then there are eating and drinking habits that baffle an Italian born and raised in Italy:

First comes the semi-depravity of ordering cappuccino after lunch or, even worse, after dinner. Italians have cappuccino for breakfast along with a croissant.

Sharing food at the restaurant. In U.S. Italian restaurants, people often order food to share. Italians tend to be jealous of their dishes. If you ordered lasagne al forno and don’t like it, sorry, but you’re on your own. Your tablemate is not going to let you have some of his cacio e pepe pasta.

Doggy bags. Even if Italians don’t finish their food in a restaurant they would never ask the waiter to wrap it ostensibly for their pooch. Why? The answer is simple. Portions in Italy are much smaller than those in the U.S., and so are the plates they’re served on.

Coffee culture. There’s this notion among some Americans that Italians spend hours in coffee shops. Wrong country. Italians drink their caffè quickly, standing up, and leave within a few minutes. The Europeans who spend all that time at coffee shops cogitating are, maybe, the French.

Eating on the run, perhaps in front of a TV perplexes anyone from Italy. Why so fast?

Having said that, after a number of years in the U.S., I have given in to American peculiarities and have started even loving some of them to the point that I almost can’t do without them. Here’s a list of my culinary transgressions:

Spaghetti and meatballs are a great combo, and I don’t mind having them in the same plate at all.

Alfredo sauce might not be Italian but — every once in a while is yummy. Why deprive myself of this small pleasure? Same applies to sandwiches with pesto. Why not?

Also, sharing food at restaurants with friends or family is a smart idea, you get to taste different dishes.

Lastly, I must admit that an Hawaiian pizza slice every now and then … Haha, no way! I still can’t do that — at least yet.