Once upon a time

So once upon a time, there was a kingdom populated by white furry animals. And the king stood on the castle wall, observing fields swarming with white furry animals that relentlessly grazed on the grass and trees and stuff, and the king looked at it and then an idea struck him.

"It would be cool to sink my teeth into a succulent piece of fried chicken," the king thought.

With this idea in mind, the king summoned his senior wizard and told him "How are you doing, old chap?"

And the wizard pondered the question and then he framed it into the context of the story and responded solemnly

"No doubt, what you really want to know, my majesty, is what to do about those white furry creatures that graze on those our meadows so vigorously as if to render this place barren and stuff,"

The king thought for a while about this sudden and abrupt turn of the conversation that swerved it far away from the subject of juicy and sensual chicken legs, basically the only thing that concerned him at that moment. Then he thought a bit more. Finally, he sighed resignedly and asked the senior wizard if he liked the perspective of his head staying attached to his neck. To which the senior wizard responded calmly and with dignity

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! oh, my majesty, great king and powerful dominator of our dominion, whose fairness and justice are legendary, by the way, I have the good news and the bad news for you."

So the king nodded solemnly and requested the wizard to deliver the news in the order, which he would consider appropriate and efficient, and the senior wizard took a pose that was supposed to signify the grave seriousness of his message, and he rolled his eyeballs in his eye-sockets several times until they fell out and hung on the eye-stalks, and then he shuffled around a bit, and finally he spoke

"The bad news, my Majesty, is that we are going to be assaulted, conquered, defeated, and consumed by a gang of salacious dragons, also your fly is open. The good news, I invented the machine that can turn lead into gold. Also, the video of your open fly got five hundred views and ten likes on YouTube, which is a huge success, and, I believe, some of those people are going to subscribe to our channel. At some point, we'll be able to place ads and make money"

The king was highly impressed and in a bout of high spirits he inquired "What's lead, old fellow?"

And the Wizard rolled his eyes over the rough surface of the castle wall, juggled them for a bit, then he directed his gaze to the ponderous procession of curly sumptuous clouds, which drifted through the sky slowly, like magnificent lambs heading for the abattoir, and finally, he spoke

"The beauty of creation, and this marvelous sight, unfolding before my eyes remind me about an imperative of a succulent fried chicken. Have we discussed fried chicken? If we didn't, it's a mistake, and our conversation is diverted from the subject of utter importance,"

The king nodded, indicating his full attention,

"So, what about fried chicken?"

The king queried, impatiently wiggling his fingers and fidgeting. The wizard promptly responded

"The lead, my Majesty, is a rare metal, so rare that nobody ever saw it, therefore, apart from this thing being metal, we don't know much about it, including its color, flavor, smell, and texture. Some scholars, though, claim that it tastes and smells like an orange that grew on a coconut palm."

The king passed out and fell from the wall. A huge pterodactyl, flying past them, captured him with its long powerful beak, and the wizard splashed water over the glowing coals.

So the king and his senior wizard drifted along that river in a boat, and they swung their paddles, trying to keep alligators away. The day was sweltering, and dragonflies darted back and forth among cattails, flies buzzed, and fish jumped from the water, now and then, to catch some ultraviolet and get a nice suntan.

"So we need to save the kingdom," mumbled the king under his breath, "and fortunately we have a powerful amulet that can protect us against the evil eye from outer space..."

The senior wizard brushed the beads of sweat from his forehead and swung the paddle to swat a fly that landed on the head of a gator, emerging from the water with his mouth wide open to swallow the boat and its passengers. The gator, being struck in the head with the paddle, closed his mouth, rolled his eyes in amazement, and drowned. Then the wizard spoke,

"Yes, my Majesty, absolutely."

The king sat at the bow, observing with curiosity swarms of small bees that swarmed among the reeds and water lilies.

"I think one day, I'll need to pass this responsibility of domination to some younger and more energetic dominator..." the king ruminated, swinging his paddle to drive away flies and alligators, "because, with each passing day, it gets harder and harder to dominate."

The wizard fidgeted, extracted the hedgehog, on whom he accidentally sat, from under his butt, and flung it in the general direction of the bank. The hedgehog flew along a wide arc, violently swearing and gesticulating, until a pterodactyl, accidentally flying past, caught it in mid-fall and carried it away to some mysterious place

"Yes, my Majesty, it gets harder and harder," agreed the senior wizard. He felt that it was indeed getting harder and harder. "By the way, returning to the topic of white furry creatures," The king looked up with curiosity "Yes, white furry creatures. What about them?"

The dark ominous tower stood surrounded by other dark ominous towers. Each of the towers, surrounding it, was, in turn, surrounded by other dark ominous towers. They all looked the same, so it was just a lot of dark ominous towers. The towers stood among the forest that looked incredibly sinister at night and quite normal during the day. Some people assumed that the forest looked sinister due to evil magic forces, populating it. Others thought that it looked sinister because most of the things look sinister in the darkness. In any case, there was something magical about this place. For example magic beans. Anyone who ate them could make a wish, and the wish would come true if this person worked really hard on making his dream reality.