The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth - My Ending for Finish the Story Week #51
This is my late entry for the @bananafish Finish the Story Contest Week #51. I know it is a very late entry, and comes in at 581 words, so it won't really count in the contest. I just really wanted to write my ending. I had the idea early, but then didn't get the time to type the idea out to post.
Be sure to go check out the @bananafish blog page to see the results and other contests still going on.
The Devisal of Mr. Dankworth
by @gaby-crb and @calluna
The familiar ping jerked through my morning haze, the signal of a new email arriving in my inbox, blared from my laptop. I hastily tapped at the volume. My fingers circled around the warm mug in my hand, the hot brush of steam warning me not to take a sip yet. I checked the screen, 16 new emails already this morning. Working from home had seemed so much easier, I never liked the office, or being out on the road, at least at home I had my own brand of coffee, and my cat Neelix, but the emails never stopped.
I cleared through the top 10 as spam, another 5 were easily filed, the last however caught my attention. My eyes focused on the sender name, I hastily placed my mug on the table and clicked the email. The sound of the news playing on the TV melted into the background, even the smell of my burning toast didn't interrupt my focus.
Good day,
My name is Michael Kent, I am the personal attorney and sole executor to my late client, Mr Ian Dankworth, who shares the same surname with you.
After the death of my client, in an automobile incident, in the year 2007, the bank contacted me to provide his next of kin to inherit his fortune, totaling Thirty Seven Million Bruvna ($37,000,000.00) according to the existing bank records.
I have written several letters to his country embassy with the intent of locating any of his immediate or extended family who will stand as the next of kin and all my efforts has been to no avail.
I have received official letters from the board of directors of the holding bank in the last few weeks suggesting a likely precedent for confiscation of his abandoned personal assets in line with existing laws, therefore I have been issued a 30 working days ultimatum to provide his next of kin or forfeit the deposit.
From my professional experience I can use any and all legal means available to re-profile and present you as the next of kin to my deceased client since you share his surname, this would enable you put a claim to the funds on our behalf.
Please kindly indicate your interest by responding to this email so we can discuss further.
Yours sincerely,
Barr. Michael Kent
I glanced at the scuffed bag by the door, I had known Mr Kent would contact me eventually. I was the last person in the country with the surname Dankworth. As my eyes read over the email again, I laughed to myself, this had been easier than I initially thought.
Neelix stalked past the black bag, rubbing up against it, he then stopped and pulled out his claws, pulling at the plastic material.
I stood up fast in an attempt to scare him, knocking my coffee over my laptop in the process. I swore and grabbed at some tissues, watching as the black liquid slowly absorbed. I would forever be cleaning up my own mess.
Here is My Ending
I thought to myself, "One mess at a time." I finished patting down my laptop a bit and then stood it on end with some paper towels underneath. "This will have to wait." I put out a small bowl of food for Neelix and scratched under his chin as I said goodbye.
Then I grabbed my purse and hoisted the two black bags near the door onto a dolly. I failed to notice the nametag that had fallen out onto the floor. It was from a diner across town with the name Alice D. and what appeared to be some sauce stains on it. I walked down the hall and into the elevator. Two floors later, the doors opened and old lady Anderson got on, pushing her grocery cart. Today was Thursday and she was on her weekly walk to the supermarket. We exchanged hellos and then rode in silence. Suddenly, I felt something brush down my leg; I let out a little gasp, but covered it up with a cough. I looked down and saw that a hand had come out of one of the bags. Apparently Neelix's claws tore an opening into the bag. I had to think fast. I turned the dolly a bit so that the hand was out of sight, and then leaned against the sidewall of the elevator to make it seem all natural to Mrs. Anderson. I knew that she'd be getting off at the lobby to go for her stroll, while I was going down another level to the underground garage. This would give me the chance to stuff the hand back into the bag before anyone could notice.
I finally made it to my car and loaded the two bags into the back of my 2003 Subaru Forester. It was a bit rundown, but had been dependable for many years. It was the perfect car to run around the city with, or to help with cleaning up my messes. Then I folded up the dolly and wedged it between the long canvas bag that was already in there and the two bags I just added. I pulled out my cellphone as I walked around to the driver's side door, got in, and pulled up the e-mail from Mr. Kent.
Dear Mr. Kent,
Thank you for contacting me. I was so saddened to hear of my uncle's passing. I am surprised I am now the next of kin. I had lost touch with much of the family, but didn't realize they were all gone as well.
I know where your offices are. Would it be possible to come in and talk with you today? I am in the middle of cleaning up a situation, but should be free in about two hours.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Dankworth
I then pulled a small notebook from my purse and opened it to a tabbed page which contained the list.
I crossed off my sister Alice's name. My phone lit back up with a ding. It was an e-mail response from Mr. Kent saying he could meet in two hours.
I then drove for half an hour to a large field just outside the city, and carried one bag at a time out to a spot behind a large rock in the field. There was some recently disturbed mounds of earth just on the other side of the rock. I pulled a shovel from the long canvas bag and began to dig the final hole.
First image - Pixabay
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Ooo now this is a fun ending. I really love how you have the normality of Kimberly's life framing the murderous plot.
The way you pick this up with that one mess at a time line sets the tone for the Dexter levels of murderous situational humor you manage here! But you don't give the game away too early on, you come in with the name tag and at first I was thinking could this be someone she was going to meet, or maybe she was about to go under cover at a diner. The moment in the lift, with the hand falling out and brushing her leg, ahhh had a good chuckle over that with my breakfast this morning, the image of her there in the lift just came across so well.
The email response is so well thought out, the double meaning of most of it, just a great touch, and then the photo of the physical list - tempted to dig out my handwriting analysis and see how murderous you were really feeling haha. Although like that she didn't murder Ian, just everyone else who might get contacted about the inheritance. This such a good story and the little details really make it, and the field full of bodies at the end, digging the final hole, had me wondering if it would really be the final hole, or if she'll end up burying any more of her obstacles along the way.
You go full murder, body in the bag on this, and yet its still light and amusing, a wonderful bit of dark comedy in this great ending <3
I loved how you two closed out the start of the story. It definitely inspired me. Right away I had the murder for money idea, and somehow knew there was a body in the bag Neelix was attracted to. I like how the rest of the story just came together as I was writing it, like I said your beginnings inspired me, and it just came right out.
The list, my initial idea was to just find an image of some notebook paper and then use my image editor to put the text in with check marks. My wife is my editor in all things, so she read the story before I posted it. In the copy she was editing it just said "List image here" followed by the list of names. She asked what my plan was, and then said, "Well why don't you just let me do a hand written list and use that?" Loved the idea instantly, and then after she wrote down the names I gave her she said, "I an going to cross them off the list instead of check marks." Good idea. She is a school teacher who has an obsession with pens, markings, all sorts of writing implements. So as she pulled out a zippered bag filled with about 20 pens she said, "I almost want to use different pens to cross them out." Again, loved the idea, and I said, "That is perfect. It adds a whole other level of psychoticness." I know it is a small part of the whole thing, but I knew that I wanted the list once I had the idea of her killing off her family, and I love how her small ideas added to the overall story.
I wouldn't doubt that she would continue to eliminate problems in her life this way. Perhaps when talking with Mr. Kent she slips up and he begins to suspect what happened, but he can't prove it. So once she gets her money she goes back to kill him and his suspicions off.
BTW - Dexter is one of my favorite shows, so the bit of comparison you added there makes me very happy. I love how the things in life we love and where we have watched or read so much storytelling from, comes through in stories we might write - even if on a subconscious level.
You've taken my adoration for the order given by a list to a dark place, Randomwanderings! 'One mess at a time' takes on a new meaning thanks to this murderess.
I had to laugh over the brush from the hand on her leg. Too often within horror movies we're given the trope of something surprising turning out to simply be a cat. Here in your story it's different and that bit of unexpected roused some giggling from me. (No big deal. It's just the hand from the bag. 😂)
Then we given the perfectly timed reveal of precisely how determined and deadly this woman is with the cheeky email response. (I was impressed with her abilities to swiftly dig a hole as well considering the length of drive time.) Your photo of the written list puts this over the top, especially that you took the time to use varying colors of ink and ways of crossing off the names.😎
Congratulations on having the highest confirmed kill count for this round (as the killer within Tristan's didn't have a listed number).
~Brisby
Makings lists can be useful for many purposes! As for the image of the list I will guide you to read my reply to Calluna rather than type it all again. But that bit of the different colors totally gets credited to my wife.
Kill count can be important at times! I have written two horror movie trivia books (based on Friday the 13th and Halloween franchises) and there is a section near the end of them both that I call the "Kill Index". It lists every character that was killed, who killed them, and how they died, divided by each film. It is one of my favorite ideas I had for the books.
I like the dairy note picture you put to support your ending, makes it interesting.