A poignant and we'll written FTS @agmoore

You capture so well, that helpless mania that people with mental health issues encounter. This has inspired me to have a crack at this round of finish the story, as I have an idea that was sparked while reading your entry.

Re your post script.

Because the child comes to realize that this is lifetime condition with which they must deal. One of the biggest burdens they face is the shame, and stigma, of their diagnosis.

This is so true, and a lot of people don't understand this. I don't know how many people I've had say something along these lines to me (including one of my parents):

"I'm so glad you got over your depression. You seemed so sad then, and were very hard to deal with,"

That type of attitude makes me want to scream. There is no getting over it, only gradations of coping, which is true can be perfected to the point where you can function well, at least externally. What people don't see, is the sometimes hundreds of daily mental exercises that the sufferer goes through to maintain some balance. There is a perception in society that these people are selfish sufferers - that they wallow in sadness - and it makes me sick. Chemical imbalances in the brain are as medical a problem as say, a nutritional imbalance in the body like pernicious anemia. In fact they can be harder to deal with, as psychiatric medications are hit and miss, often just making things worse. That's been my experience anyway.

I honestly think it's a very complex problem and I'm not blaming anyone, but if I had to point the finger to what needs addressing, it would be that societal misconseption that there is a cure for mental health problems. If people understood that their son, daughter, brother, sister etc knew that there was no end to it, they might have a different attitude, and it could make the whole experience feel less like a life sentence that you go through alone.

I have a friend who suffers the depression side of depression & anxiety disorder much worse than me, and I make sure that he knows I understand that it's not a choice, and am always there to talk to... or just go for a game of pool or whatever. It's hard for me to speak about - as I've gone through it in the past - but suicidal thoughts are often exacerbated by this issue of societal misconception. There is nothing worse for pushing a person over the edge, than both feeling completely alone with this insurmountable problem, and that they're viewed as something of a liar (like they don't want to get well).

As I said earlier, there is no well; just gradations of coping. But ironically, if you can learn the mechanisms you need, it can make you mentally strong. In my mind I see it like walking over hot coals barefoot. God knows how it's done, but somehow through the process of learning how to manage the symptoms of depression/anxiety you're forged in fire.

Ha ha, mind you, I've still not got that novel started, and that's completely due to the somewhat chaotic mental gymnastics I have to do on a day to day just to keep some clarity in the face of my busy (negative) thoughts. It's like constantly wading up a raging river 🤣