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RE: Vanilla (Finish The Story #64 Entry)
I liked the B version. Version A was out of character given in the prompt. Good job, though.
I liked the B version. Version A was out of character given in the prompt. Good job, though.
Interesting, thank you. Exactly the sort of feedback I want ;) i do like going for a hard switch, from apple pie to time-to-die lol, b isn't so much my thing, but that was trying to stay true to character, and ice cream focused lol, so in that sense it worked. Sincerely appreciate that, thank you <3
A part was well written. It was only about a different person than the one given in the template. Imagine a Batman will have a nervous breakdown and be crying in his batmobile looking at bad guys robbing the store or beating up and an old lady. The scene could be written very well, but whoever reads this will say "this isn't Batman you've described" )))
Cheers
Although equally, Batman's actions may seem out of character for polished and well mannered Bruce Wayne. Its interesting seeing perspectives and how people read things, I suspect there is an element of how we read the character in the first half that may make it worse. I can see how it might be a little out of character for how I read her in the first half, but I didn't think it jarred given the situation going down. But Bruce Wayne sobbing level! That is sincerely really bad lol, that's like if someone hadn't even read batman and tried to write it. Damn. Good to know though (You have made me very happy I went for my "maintain the character" ending this round lol) thank you! :)
You are absolutely correct. I made Batman example only for the sake of illustrating my point. Your deviation from the character was much much milder.
But there are levels of good writing and you are are the skill level when you can depict any character, not just one character, which is modified you. Therefore the considerations of uniformity of the character, the dynamic shifts inside of the character and being outside one are very much within your reach.
Cheers!