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RE: The Abysmal Biscuit

in #finishthestory6 years ago

Now this is a wonderful way to take the prompt, reminds me of those monkey paw jars, just considerably harsher!

Very much enjoyed how you played the old man, walking a line between sinister-almost-supernatural and poor old man. I felt bad for him, shedding a tear over the children on his box, and like a chess master, in just a few moves you turn the tables, Joelle taking from the old man in a set up prime for something the other way round.

The moment she took the box, it was like the raising of an axe that had to drop, and oh it fell so beautifully, lopping off her hand. And you tie up so many threads in the first half with this plot, very impressive as always!

Really enjoyed the little moral twist you put in this one <3

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I'm agreeing totally with Calluna's analysis. I just wonder who really the old man was and why he cried for the kids if, in the end, he was a sort of a carrier of the hellish box. I loved the supernatural and surreal halo throughout the story.

Apparently the creepy old man has built the booby-trapped box in order to teach something important to curious children... The mutilations are a painful necessity, to ensure the lesson sticks. He might be out of his mind (probably) or actually onto something. We'll never know!

I keep thinking about hellraiser 🤔 We should write a prompt with that taste!

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