You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: The Last Will and Testament of Geralda Connors
I think this is brilliant. You spin a convincing parable. You sorted all the characters, made parallels in your story-within-a-story, and guided us to your theory of the crime. Well told....And great insight into human nature. That is the core of every classic parable.
I was hoping it turned out alright. I'd like to know how this story could have more punch. Did you know the outcome straight off or did it leave you guessing until the end what was going to happen?
It was a challenge for me to use code for all the characters. Did you catch what I did with a few of the names of the animals. ;-)
I didn't get the trick with the names...but what happened (what should happen in a story like this, I think), is the reader gets to enjoy the net closing around the suspects. We're in on it. Plus...your character portraits are priceless, especially:
I guess the punch came with the mother murdering the father for the money. What a nest of undesirables. I didn't understand the part about the overlord taxes, but it sounded medieval so it fit right in with the parable.
Really very clever.
I’m glad I made you feel like you were in on it. Cool.
The names of the suspects are anagrams! 😏 I couldn’t figure out one that I liked for John besides C.J.
I should have kept the previous referance but I missed it when editing. The overlord is supoosed to represent the government as a whole with the farmer (police) doing their bidding. Gotta collect them eggs for their fare share. 🤨
:)) Nice dig at bureaucracy!
somehow it reminded the Animal Farm by Orwell. I see several affinities with that book. It's a cunning elaborate parable who reveals a lot of work from your end. Congrats Tristan!
I've skimmed that book. Good one, no doubt.
I had this at about 1100 words before edits. I just wrote the story out. The trouble was editing down, as good writing may already know. 8-)
Editing down is one of the best exercises to improve the writing style imo