The Priest and the Pirate | 50 Word Story

in #fiction6 years ago (edited)


The shade slew the last sailor.

Only the captain and I remained. And I, no pirate, but a priest disguised.

Atop the treasure sat a jeweled cross.

The ghoul reached out a finger.

I took the cross. Prayed. The wraith vanished.

Cold steel slid between my ribs.

“Bloody hate priests.”

Still loving these fifty word stories thanks to @jayna and her amazing fifty word story challenge. This time the prompt was “shade.” I did five different drafts for this one and also wrote 700 words of a longer version which I have yet to complete. Big thanks to @Bex-dk and @damianjayclay for the edits.


Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.thinknzombie.com/the-priest-and-the-pirate-50-word-story/
Sort:  

I giggled at the end. Taking a fearful scenario and ending it with murder shouldn't have made me laugh, but there was a flair of irony I couldn't resist. The spirit wasn't the real danger. Love it, Zombie!

@anikekirsten captured my reaction to your story so well, @thinknzombie, that I just have to underscore this. There is a certain delight in this story that surprised me. Love it! Sounds like you have a version that you could develop further as well. I hope you do!

Ha, I love the backstabbing here. And a longer version coming too? I need to start thinking about turning some of my 50 words into longer stories; they're essentially prompts in a box; a lot of brainpower has already been spent on them, and the ideas are already there waiting to be used.

@thinknzombie You have received a 100% upvote from @steemprotector because this post did not use any bidbots and you have not used bidbots in the last 30 days!

Upvoting this comment will help keep this service running.

I like the self righteousness in the line 'an I no pirate, but a priest disguised' and the way you manage to fit a surprise ending into 50 words. Excellent job.

I miss the beautiful pieces that you share always @thinknzombie

Great work as always. Haven't been keeping up with your posts lately. I am glad I caught this one though!

Can't wait to read the longer version of this! This was like a tantalizing taste test; I want more.

From the pieces I've seen, the long version is going to be MARVELOUS.

Arrrr. Great story!
OK enough of the piratespeak. Great job on this, Zombie Dearest, but I daresay you already knew that.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.22
TRX 0.20
JST 0.034
BTC 98504.77
ETH 3362.26
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.06