I really liked your story. I could see everything so clearly as you told it. I think it was a good selection of details that did it. I particularly liked the little touches of shifting the phone to the other ear and taking the watch out of the pocket and putting it away again that happen early in the story. These clarify your main character so beautifully, like quick flicks of paint in the right spots can bring a canvas to life. Well done.
Thank you so much, @ducksaplenty! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! I always like adding little details like that, as a way for myself, and the reader, to get to know the character. Especially in a short piece, like this, where getting to know the character so early is essential.
This is sooo nice...I would love to read a sequel on it.Congratulations @therosepatch, this story is priceless. I can imagine yourself sitting in your porch fronting greens, looking at your watch and start writing about it.Wondering what if a leprechaun shows up from the woods offerin a help in mending your watch that you don't even know its broken. You refused the offer but the Leprechaun insisted and left a bussiness card instead.- hence the story starta....whoaaa... oh! Well, hope to read a squel on this ,lol
Oh my, wow! This is absolutely fantastic, @therosepatch. You wrote this beautifully, and imaginatively. It's wonderful! Congratulations on the wonderful attention you are getting for this excellent work!
Thank you, @jayna! I had a lot of fun writing this story. I actually feel like the story sort of told itself, and I just put the words down, you know? It's weird!
I really liked your story. I could see everything so clearly as you told it. I think it was a good selection of details that did it. I particularly liked the little touches of shifting the phone to the other ear and taking the watch out of the pocket and putting it away again that happen early in the story. These clarify your main character so beautifully, like quick flicks of paint in the right spots can bring a canvas to life. Well done.
Thank you so much, @ducksaplenty! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! I always like adding little details like that, as a way for myself, and the reader, to get to know the character. Especially in a short piece, like this, where getting to know the character so early is essential.
I thought this was a great story and a good take on the prompt.
Thank you very much! And thank you so much for your help with it! :)
This is sooo nice...I would love to read a sequel on it.Congratulations @therosepatch, this story is priceless. I can imagine yourself sitting in your porch fronting greens, looking at your watch and start writing about it.Wondering what if a leprechaun shows up from the woods offerin a help in mending your watch that you don't even know its broken. You refused the offer but the Leprechaun insisted and left a bussiness card instead.- hence the story starta....whoaaa... oh! Well, hope to read a squel on this ,lol
Thank you for your kind words! I don't know if I'll ever write a sequel to this, as it was meant to be just one story, but you never know!
Congratulations! This story has been curated by The SFT. :-) A small SBD reward has been transferred to your wallet.
https://steemit.com/curation/@sft/the-sft-curates-2-2-18
It has been added to the Fantasy Reading Room at the SFT Library.
http://sftlibrary.com/
This is wonderful, thank you so much! :)
Just read it! Awesome dialog, I felt the atmosphere. By the way, I've also included 'fifty years' in my story and the context is similar.
Thank you so much! And that's cool!
Wow! Lovely take on the prompt, Rose.
Thank you @anikekirsten! I had a lot of fun writing it!
Oh my goodness! It's so dark yet homely. This is great stuff!!
Aww, thanks caleb! I'm glad you liked it!
I like how it's dark but there's still that small tinge of hope, cause you get to see Charles freed. So maybe there's a chance for Andrew as well :)
Buuuuut Andrew's chance would involve putting someone else through it :O
Exactly. Trippy, huh?
Very, you fiendish devil you!
Muahahahaha!!
Such a nice story, happy to have been able to help make it shine even more!
Thank you for your compliments and suggestions. Work-shopping with you is fun cause you have so many great ideas :D
I really enjoyed reading your entry. It's interesting to see what others have come up with.
Thank you so much! And yes, it really is. I love the differences in creativity to come up with so many varying stories from the same prompt.
Oh my, wow! This is absolutely fantastic, @therosepatch. You wrote this beautifully, and imaginatively. It's wonderful! Congratulations on the wonderful attention you are getting for this excellent work!
Thank you, @jayna! I had a lot of fun writing this story. I actually feel like the story sort of told itself, and I just put the words down, you know? It's weird!
Yes, I do know. 😁 It is so fun when that happens!