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RE: A Change Gonna Come - Finish the Story Contest, WEEK 32

in #fiction6 years ago

The I-perspective, a pure focus of the I that it isn’t called every sentence! What blasphemy! Nah, I be a teaser now after finally being out of me tipsy state. For I (and yes screw you we all share this “I” as well) certainly felt the character as I could imagine the scenes and their development. To be able to act it out and see how each scene, even if they’re random to each other, neccesitated the next scene’s existence. How even if it is all illusory, that our little friend’s vision could facilitate the progression of the upcoming scenes and make them flow naturally. And with so much done in one area and in a slow pace to allow them to flow, you made a mere chapter that could end right there. (Like that period there and this period here.) Yet one where you can, and without the need to justify it, pick up on the story again and make another chapter right after it.

See this is where I probably could’ve been if I hadn’t been drunk, tired as shit, not cramming a story in two-three hours within 500-words and decided not to cut necessary padding. Albeit from there, I think my ending could’ve fared way better with a “jump-cut” to the breach inside the tower and had saved an extra 350+ words (yes I counted) to focus solely on the inside portion of the tower.

Upvoted and resteem’d.
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Ha ha, yes the I isn't all encompassing on this ending. I, or rather, me felt like the perspective was justified to give it that 'in the head' feel. Thanks for your comment theironfelix

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