SAMANTHA...
(Almost 18+....well, despite censoring and word substitutions, this is still 18+)
He took delivery of Samantha the sex doll at his front door at 7 pm that evening. He had paid a princely sum of 850,000 Naira for it. He unpackaged the box revealing the pretty face of the curly haired young sex doll.
He gazed at the doll in amazement and began giggling like the Quagmire character in the American animation comedy series, Family Guy.
“Giggidy giggidy! All right!”
He picked his phone and dialed a number.
“Monica it is over between us! I don’t want to see you again!”
He dropped the phone and turned on the music player in the room. Samantha by Tekno flooded the room. He whistled and danced to the song.
“Samantha o Samantha you dey do me sotey
Samantha o Samantha you just dey do me do me!”
He stopped dancing and began undressing.
“Samantha, you are fully charged so let’s get down to business” He winked and got on top of the doll.
He began caressing the body of the doll and soon was thrusting hard.
“Oh yeah, you are so soft and warm! You are the real deal”
“Sa—man---tha!” He yelled as he climaxed and went limp.
“Phew! That was good.” He exhaled.
“Round two!” He announced.
He climbed on the doll and began thrusting.
“I am in paradise!” He moaned as he reached cloud 9.
“Samantha, you will not demand for money for shawama, you will not request for money to make your hair, no money for transport, no Std, no drama, no ice cream, no monthly period, Samantha you are a darling!” He nibbled at her ear.
“Round Three!”
He changed the posture of the doll and placed her in the position that is associated with a popular four legged domestic animal. He began digging from the rear. Within three minutes he was exhausted, lying beside her and breathing heavily while the clammy sweat ran down his body.
“Samantha, you want more, don’t you? You are a bad girl! A very bad girl!” He winked at the doll and continued, “But I am tired, you have taken all my energy. Let me go and get some fufu and soup in the kitchen. Tomorrow we will continue from where we stopped. Oh Samantha, my naughty girl!”
He got up and wearily walked into his kitchen. Inside, he began warming the pot of soup on the gas cooker.
“Round Four!” A stern voice announced.
The man turned around in shock.
Samantha the sex doll was standing behind him and staring at him with her steely eyes.
“Whaaaat! So you can walk and talk? But you are a robot! I didn’t know you are a possessed doll!”
Samantha immediately stretched its right arm and gripped him by the neck. She dragged him to the bedroom.
“Leave my neck! This must be a software malfunction! I paid for a sexy doll but they gave me this possessed and demonic doll!”
The doll tossed him onto the floor and jumped onto him. With its hand, it gripped his flaccid penis and began pulling it to a state of erection. The powerless man began sobbing and begging for his life as the fluid left his body in an anticlimax.
“Round 5!” The Sex doll announced.
“I can’t get it up! Leave me alone!” He begged desperately searching for an opportunity to flee the room.
The sex doll pressed a button on its right thigh and bellowed;
“Strap on!!”
Immediately a huge strap-on appeared around its waist.
“Turn around and spread your legs!” It bellowed to him.
“Chisos!” The frightened man screamed and began crawling towards the door. He cursed the day he thought of the idea of buying a sex doll.
“Help! I need help!” He yelled, desperately hoping the neighbours across the fence would hear and come to his rescue.
“Help! I will not do this again! Monica I need you back, I won’t do a sex doll again!”
He got to the door and almost crawled out but the sex doll held on to his legs and pulled him back. With the last ounce of strength in him, he picked a plastic stool and threw it at the sex doll, aiming at her head.
The stool struck the sex doll and she relaxed her grip on his leg.
He fled the house.
Residents were stunned to see a naked man running in the night screaming about Samantha and yelling at them to get the thing out of his house.
Curious neighbours ran to the house. They were gobsmacked to see a life-size doll in the house dancing wildly to the music playing in the room.
“He must leave my house today! He has to park out tonight! Can you imagine bringing in a demon into my house!” The angry landlord shouted as he led a team of hefty men to invade the house and eject the sex doll.
The naked man ran up and down in the cold night, screaming,
“Samantha o! Samantha has killed me!”