Sarah was my first love. From the first day my heart raced for her, it had never missed it beat. She was like a character in a fairytale: so strange, so loving, so mysterious and irresistible.

She walks with a certain gentleness. Her eyes were blue and calm. It had something in then that I couldn’t describe .She walks as if she was a patchwork of still streams… so delicate and fragile.

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Let the love story unfold!

“You know how lucky I am to have you” I said to her as usual after our night class.
It was a happy night for both of us and as usual, she threw her arms slowly around my neck like the fragile girl that she was. Familiar with such actions, I sniffed along with her, three times. She never did it less or more" my hands found the small of her waist, I cupped it carefully. She started sniffing slowly.

“I would never leave you” She swore happily, chuckling a bit.

“Promise me that you will never leave me” She added before her tear stained my cheeks. Her tears weren't violent, she only held the tail of my shirt tighter and tighter.

That night, I kissed her roughly like I had never.
“Don’t ever leave me, Rick” She said and placed her lips on my neck, savouring it timidly, gently, perfectly.

“Don’t forget the football match tomorrow” I said after we got over the love attack.

“I will be the first person on the football field” She said, dimming her eyes carefully. I knew exactly what she wanted when she dimmed her eye that way. Roughly, I pulled her closely to me, placed one arm over her shoulder while the other caressed her long black hair.

We stood like that for few minutes before I broke the silence

“I will surely score goals for you”

I wasn’t done with my words, when she pulled me roughly with certain vigour.

My heart raced.

“Rick…” She lifted my face up with her tiny hands as if she had something to say but she said nothing.

“Rick” She called again, puncturing my soul.

“Does it hurt anywhere”?

She gave no response, she only held me tighter.
Chest on chest, we felt eachother’s heartbeat.

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11am, next day.

My team and I were having our final exercise the next day when Sarah emerged from an extreme end. My heart raced.

“She walks like she would fall any second” One of my team members said.

“Angels thread carefully” I said, before running to catch up with her.

“Sarah” I threw my hands around her, she coughed lightly.

“You are very early” I said, watching her lips curl into a puerile smile.

“When you are scared, just look at me. I would never take my eyes off you” She said and ran off like the speed of light yet very slow, fragile and with a certain sweetness.

“A thousand kisses!” I screamed after her and watched her take her seat on one of the chairs meant for the audience.

“You would see me perfectly from there!” I screamed and ran back to the others.

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The football game began with the other teams rejoicing with a game of 2:0.

“Rick! Ricky!” Someone from the crowd screamed. It was Sarah! I turned in her direction and I heard her scream “You can do it! You can do it!”.

I felt motivated like never before and few minutes before the end of the half time, my team scored two making it 2:2.

The whistle signalling the end of the first half was blown. I rushed to meet Sarah, ignoring my team. I threw my heavy weight around her tiny adorable body, she coughed roughly.

"Rick" She cried sadly

“I will win for you” I didn’t mean too but tears streamed down my cheeks. She didn’t move, didn’t stare, she only caressed my fingers, sending messages that I did not understand.

The second half began, this time around, the other team had gotten brutal: inflicting injuries on my team members.

The 2nd half was almost over, when I had the chance to score a goal…. Our supporters screamed, still I could hear Sarah’s tiny voice. I thought about her calm eyes, her gentle laughter, and her tender voice.

Her voice was what accompanied me as I moved the ball towards the goal post, dribbling and dribbling. … All of a sudden, I felt a thick hand pushed me….

“Rickie!” Someone I recognized as the voice of my Sarah screamed.

That was it…. Everything immediately went black.

When I woke up…. I felt a sudden sharp pain underneath my legs. It was indescribable. There was no need asking where I was. I could feel the weight of the wool and the plaster beneath my balls. Despite the weight of the plaster, I knew I was empty down there!

“Where is Sarah” I said later to the nurse.
“You must be talking about the lady who wept uncontrollably. She left an hour ago”

That night I waited for Sarah to come back but she didn’t. The next morning she didn’t. In the afternoon, my team members came but Sarah wasn’t among them.

“Dude you lost your balls! Cry your fucking out eyes” Jeffrey said and broke into tears.

I knew I had seized to exist. Tears are meant for the living.

A week later, still I didn’t see Sarah. Jeffery came around few days later.

“I saw Sarah” Jeffrey said.

My heart raced just like old times.

“She is with another guy. I saw her. She moved on. Girls are bitches. I told you, she is not different”

I was dead already, so I did not shed a single tear yet my heart raced mercilessly.

Weeks later, I was back to school and just like Jeffrey had said it, I saw Sarah. . . walking like streams as usual, everything was the same except that she had her hands in the hands of another guy.

That day, we walked past each other like we had never known each other, like our tears had never mixed, like our souls had never danced…

As she walked passed, breathing horribly like she would pass out the next moment, I knew just one thing;

That we were ghosts in the land of love.
That we came but we never saw.
That we saw we but never conquered.

Finally, I realized I had never truly known her. Why did she cry so much? Her coughs? Her beauty I had adored so much became a sorrowful mystery.

I had never really known or met her yet I loved her with the strangeness of her beauty, her form, her nature.

“Sarah!” I called out.

She turned almost immediately and stared with me with that same eyes but she stared as if she had never known those eyes she stared at. I saw her move her lips to say something but those words, whatever it was never came out despite how I craved to hear it.

As we stared, I thought about the times we shared… the laughter, the kisses, the happiness, the tears. I thought about the football field too: The field where our love came to an end.

We were leaving without saying goodbye…. We became ghosts of love walking through life, hoping to drop dead someday.

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Images Source: Google

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My Pen Bleeds!