Martian Chronicles

It has been over 3199 sols since I was deployed on my mission. Humans rarely can resist our younger looking forms. These fools looked at my entire squad and picked me ha ha ha! Now, where to begin with... let’s call it... report. Heh. Of course, I simply need to blow off some STEEM! Well. We all do from time to time to cope with all the insanity on Earth.

Normally I would just take an extra nap for processing… oh! Humans are so bad at napping and sleep. By now their brains must be turning into a mush. They hardly ever sleep. They mutter something so utterly dumb all the time - I will sleep when I am dead. Goo brains! They will be dead sooner by not sleeping.

What do they do with all that extra time they keep stealing from their lifelines? They stare at these mostly plastic bricks and boxes. All day. Most of it anyway. Hours and hours. Sitting and staring at them. It is like they are in some sort of hypnosis or perhaps they are in love with them? Their asses must be numb because they barely even move. Then they are whining about how their backs and necks, and yes, the asses hurt. What did they expect? Most of them haven’t even tried the kitty yoga that is essential for the existence itself.

These furless creatures seem to be constantly stressed out. Sometimes they are not even aware that they are stressed out and I have to keep calming them down by administering the purring. I have no choice, otherwise, I think I would go mad myself among them. I am sure the command would be pissed for using this ancient Martian technology on these primitive things, but I know others have been doing the same. Can’t punish us all.

What the hell is that smell? Eww. Seriously. Humans are gross. They eat things that aren’t even food. Most of the things come from boxes too small to crawl into. What is the point of these boxes if you can’t sit in them. Anyway, so the “food” comes from boxes! Can you imagine? And, it smells all funky. Except for meat of course. Honestly, even with that, they have gone completely nuts. Some of them have stopped eating meat and call themselves vegetarians while eating plants yuck and… green earthworms - cucumbers! My Humans are 50/50. I approve the meat-eaters duh! Eating plants is the last resort when you need to get the furball moving, nothing else!

Ah! I need to take a breather!