Better writing then I've seen in like 20 posts. I will say that you should use double quotations and you have a few misspelled words; however your characters dialog is not bad. I could at least see two different people speaking in my mind. I love the setting and the story is dramatic and solid. Almost seemed like something that really happened to some one. What was the inspiration for this piece?
Thank you very much for this. I've made all the corrections. Really I'm so grateful for your kind suggestions.
And yes, it's actually an experience. I got the inspiration to write this story some months ago while travelling in a bus. One of the passengers, a man in his middle fifties, was telling us about how a girl he planned to marry ran away at the last minute after he helped sponsor her studies in the university. He was quite bitter and forceful in his assertion that women were not to be trusted.
I got the story and I got my ink to work on my paper. Should you be interested, I'd love to mail you a copy of my new book MY CHAINS - Diary of a Rebel.
Thanks all the same!