The Dirtbag Vernacular [Original Novel]

ENTRY 29

I sit in the maintenance office interviewing for the open custodial position with Andy and the shop foreman Max, a black man in his early forties.

“What do you have to offer here as far as skills are concerned Jack?” Andy asks.

“Well, I feel pretty comfortable with the place as far as being familiar with it and being able to clean it...” I answer referring to the time I’ve spent over the past three months running around the place cleaning it up. I have been moving around so much I’ve lost my New Orleans beer belly. I had looked in the mirror one day and was amazed that it was gone.

“…And well, ah, you know,” I continue, “I worked for Ravanni and Tognotti a few years back. If there are any plumbing problems I would be able to deal with them.” At this point I’m blatantly lying to Andy and Max. Although I did work for Ravanni & Tognotti Plumbing and Heating, the company that the school used exclusively, I didn’t learn very much about plumbing. I had been a plumber’s helper on this job and had spent as much time as possible jelling out, staring off into space, standing around watching the regular plumbers work.

One afternoon Max approaches me on the sculpture ramp, which runs fifty yards or so connecting the old part of the school to the new. “Congratulations man, you got the job,” Max tells me shaking my hand, “It was tough though. We were really thinkin’ about hirin’ this other guy. Got tons of experience, but in the end Andy hired you ‘cause, well, he said, takes more than just a run of the mill maintenance guy to work in this place. Helps to have someone who can understand the fruitcakes runnin’ ‘round here little better than the average guy.”

This was the third time I’d applied for a position in the maintenance department. The first being some time before moving to New Orleans, the second a mere two months before when Max had been hired. I’d dreamed of this for years. Not just because it was a decent job. Nor because it’s a cool place to work with tons of girl watching, but because the benefits include free tuition. It’s sixteen grand a year to study at this place. I’ve finally got this job and it means that one day I will graduate, but I can barely enjoy it because of the Molly and Frank situation.


Photo by Hoffacurse