Torundel the Shitposter! part XX

katharsisdrill (71)in #fiction • 5 years ago

Torundel felt sick. But all around him people were buzzing with excitement. He had been right. The reemergence of shitposting had spellbound society. Sang law was not dusty, forgotten lore anymore.

Count B came rushing to the side of his agitated wife. ‘What is this, Torundel? I will have you flogged… ’

‘Count B! I am your enemy. I, Torundel, challenged you to shitposting and I demand Ulumergina!’ A collective howl from the room revealed that people understood that ancient word.

The Count who had never read anything but well-behaved novels and courteous poetry made the last mistake of his life.

‘This man is a villain, a scoundrel!’ he shouted. ‘He has lured me into a trap writing both his own and my shitposts. Guards! Take him into custody. Let's see what the senate tribunal have to say to this ludicrous story. My best guess is that they, for trying to cheat a Nobleman, will have your arms amputated and you imprisoned for life. You pathetic, petty, little, piece of… of.. intellectual!’

‘A FALSE SHITPOSTER MUST BE TORN TO BLOODY SHREDS BY WOMEN'S HANDS,’ shrieked a fat lady, who gripped by the latest literary trend obviously had memorized all of Sang law.

Uranumsia was first in the fray.

Torundel felt sick.