The Ladybug vs the Aphid

“You’re a goner, you sap sucker”.

An insult. Although an accurate one. Not an intelligent one.

Ladybug was practically dripping from its labium. His eyes showing little to no emotion, only light reflection.

“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” I chuckle nervously to myself. Although, as insects, a fall is never very hard at all. Us wingless aphids would know.

Despite this death-or-death situation, I’m grateful Ladybug is taking his sweet time in devouring me. Oh right, that’s because he’s waiting for me to answer.

I steal a sideways glance at the love of my life as she trembles on the leaf not too far from me.

“Yeah, well you’re so big, this leaf would crack if it were Autumn right now.”

I was never very good at comebacks.

Ladybug silently cackles, although he does not know what Autumn is.

He takes a step forward, and everything moves in slow motion.

Lady Aphid, you were everything I ever wanted in life. A companion, and listening ear, and the carrier of a baby I wish was my own. She didn’t need me, but she chose me anyway. Why, I'll never know.

She raises her two anthropod claws to her mouth with no vocal cords and calls, “I love you!”

“I know”, I say, as suavely as I can.

Then, I self-detonate.