I enjoyed this! I think that if this is a deleted scene from a novel it might be a very interesting story indeed. I really enjoy how, like with your bard, you go into the politics of education ;p
If I could identify one spot for polishing, the fifth paragraph, you have four characters in that paragraph, and more than a dozen pronouns (Although the she-s are obvious). I'm sure as part of the larger story we know who Alan is, but right now he is an artifact of this paragraph.
Consider expanding 'he had' here:
at which time he'd revealed his true nature
While correct, the more common reading of he'd is he would, which makes this part easy to stumble over.
Add a 'to' here
and then to a sort of void.
I may have just given too many suggestions since you asked for them in your python guide but I am much too simple to offer you any programming advise - copyediting I can do!
Keep writing, I will keep reading! I am enjoying your fantasy world interpretations!
There's an interesting reason for that. They were both originally attempts to make sense of a game world. For the bard it was to make the game world make sense to me. For this one it was originally back story to help explain a ruleset I was trying to devise for a CRPG. But then I get distracted by the story and started removing some of the more blatant game elements in order to make the story flow better. Turns out, just adhering to the rules gave it continuity without having to explain those rules. This bit of explanation was still in there because I guess I felt it necessary to over-explain why everyone was where they were...
Nope. Thanks for the suggestions!
I was beginning to think that the upvotes I was getting were just speculative votes as I wasn't getting any feedback of any sort, just votes (not counting the bot parade).
Also, thanks for the encouragement!
Yes - 'politics' in all its forms is interesting and even though it is a 'ruleset' of a certain system it is always intriguing because of what it reveals about human nature or the assumptions being made about the same.
It can feel 'botty' around here sometimes, but I assure you some of us are real people!
I wonder if this is a result of re-ordering the sentences and not updating the pronouns after.
It happens to the best of us!
By the way, I only give free corrections for things I enjoy reading; I charge for copyediting boring stuff 😂
I'll be sure to only post only interesting content so as not to incur any extra fees.
Thats the way!