Surprise! Surprise!!

I had to coerce the gateman. I didn’t come this far to fail. I had earlier begged my oga to give me a day and half off. Imagine me, I left my office midday on Thursday just to make it to the park early especially since I had to get some stuff at the market. And by some stuff, I mean fish (special fish) all those big ones ehn, fresh vegetables, some pepper and all the other ingredients for seven life efo riro. I had to get in early especially since I couldn’t cook it from home. At the park nko, the sweat, load and discomfort. Finally there, one gateman will now tell me not to enter, Na lie! I used lady tricks ni. Finally finally sha, he sha allowed me enter the estate. As soon as I enter nko, I called Femi, my boyfriend. Now about Femi, he is not the average Yoruba demon. Everyone knows Femis are very promiscuous, but not mine, the exception in a thousand. Sha sha, I called him and he told me he was still at work at will call me back. Imagine., at this time, it’s very late and he didn’t even give me chance to tell him about my visit but then again, na him sabi. He’ll meet me here. I know he sounds unbelievable but he has given me a key prior to this time, but I’ve never used it, what can I say? I’ve been busy. I just hope he’s not changed the locks because that one na wahala o. As if on cue, my phone rings and its Tiwalade, my bestie. Tiwalade has been quite unlucky in love and so I try as much as possible not be all lovey dovey when around her. She once dated this one guy, cool guy I heard but the break up was messy and by messy I mean attempted homicide messy that she had to run for her life and has since lived low key life. Back to my diary entry jare, his house is pristine, I mean what guy keeps a crib this clean? Mama is proud of you, boy. I drop the things and now my arms have rest. I then proceed to tour the house since this one has refused to come back from work on time. The first place I entered was the visitor’s toilet, then the guest room and an empty closet, I mean what was I expecting? Then the kitchen, dining, and the master’s bedroom. You know how it is in the movies when they catch the boyfriend cheating, I won’t lie I was scared I will be surprised myself but God is god, testimony time!! I kukuma jejely laid down on the bed and before I knew it, I slept off. What woke me up is something I wish I didn’t have to see.
I don’t think they saw me but I saw them alright, my Femi, wait sef, Femi, coming out of the bathroom with Sharon, his secretary. A part of me wants to unsee it while another part of me thanks God, I haven’t cooked the efo riro. So my nightmare was in the only place I didn’t tour and I was sleeping right there. Looking around now, I see his closet is slightly ajar and that seems out of place in this kind of setting. So this is the job. On a different note, it’s good to have a praying mother, I guess all those prayers of God’s guidance have found their way to me. I feel unnaturally calm. Take it from me, I believe this is the calm before the storm ‘cause I know myself and I’m not gentle, if I do say so myself, but God is good. Hallelujah!! He doesn’t want me to go to jail ‘cause frankly, that shade of prison blue will not look good on me. I should have known the whole cleanliness attitude was just a front. I won’t lie, I don’t even know how I walked to the sitting room, put my stuff in the guest room, changed into something comfy and came out only to see them both sitting down. ‘I have two things to ask of you Femi one, don’t let any harm come to the gateman, please don’t let him lose his job and second, can I have Indomie, its late and I need to eat and sleep, thanks’. I didn’t wait for a reply and just went to the kitchen, made myself a good bowl of comfort noodles and went to the sitting room, switched on TV and watched me some bad ass movies. Unfortunately for them, a review of acrimony was going on, thinking about it now, it must have sent a bad message to the both of them. I was forced to chat with Tiwa about my current situation. She sha kept saying, ‘don’t do anything o! I hope you’ve not done anything o! eh! Please, should I call? Are you ok?’ all I said was ‘I don’t know’. Later at night, I went to sleep but made sure I locked the door and even put a chair behind it. You don’t sleep on a bicycle, well, my sister once did but that’s story for another day. Morning couldn’t come fast enough especially for me to leave this hell but apparently what fate had in stock for me was way worse. Thank God I already took the rest of the week off, it gives me time to nurse my heartbreak. I kuku brought the ingredients back home, made the efo while crying. Later in the day, Tiwa came straight from her work to help me and she brought ice cream, I did all house chores to help relieve stress and we binge watched movies until I fell asleep. The next day, I was still in slacks when policemen came to meet me for questioning. Sharon was dead. She was found dead in her apartment in the early hours of Friday and was suspected to have died from poisoning. The gateman of that day told the police that he always thought Sharon was the girlfriend until I came and that I may have done something. I was taken in for questioning as well as Tiwa who was my alibi and I was there for many hours until they eventually let me go. On my way out I met Femi and sincerely, it was neither the time nor place to be angry, we had murder on our hands. He attempted to talk but I will have none of it. While I met with Femi, Tiwa met Tony, the murderer ex. That was how an impending murder added to our problems.At this point, I sincerely agree that dating, hell meeting Femi was a mistake. Meeting Tony here definitely means that Tiwa will consider relocating again and I can’t afford to lose my best friend especially at a time like this, she is my support system. So I advised her to go back into the police station and officially report Tony. Tony was made to sign a document stating that he would be held responsible if any harm comes to her but hey we all know the heart of man is evil and desperately wicked, I mean who can know it? It’s no surprise now that Femi is friends with this idiot. Three weeks felt like eternity when we all were called except Tiwa. She told me she was planning on travelling but she hasn’t called me since yesterday and these past few days she’s been off but when your ex who planned to kill you suddenly shows up, it’s bound to happen. I’m worried tho. At the station, we got there to find the inspector telling us about how tony planned to finish the work of killing Tiwa because apparently her knowledge of him is crucial to the case and Tony killed Sharon because she failed to go with the plan. The plan was to dupe and kill Femi, the plan I spoilt with my surprise visit. It never felt so good to hear that your boyfriend cheated on you at his own peril. I even saved the idiot kinda, so much for friendship. Tiwa will finally be safe and Femi and I are never getting back together, the past is gone and buried, but I hope he dies instead of guilt. Oops, did I say that? Well, I visited Tiwa today at the hospital because Tony did a number on her before the police could save her all thanks to her neighbours and all we did was share experiences of worst exes. Being single does not seem so bad anymore. This is our happily ever after, this is our reality.

Photo credit: Google images