Being Gazed At Makes People Foolish

"All it takes is a gaze, a supervising gaze, and everyone will become humble under the weight of that gaze, turning themselves into their own observer."

I recently watched the latest episode of Benzi, and the discussion about "the disappearance of the self when being gazed at" made me think a lot.

In the video, Benzi said, "When we frequently borrow others' perspectives to examine ourselves, we unconsciously treat our bodies as objects for others to admire, comparing ourselves to others without realizing it, always feeling that we are not good-looking enough. Gradually, we abandon the sense of being the protagonist and become objects under the gaze of others."

Reflecting on my own experiences during exams or at work, whenever I was being watched by an invigilator or a supervisor, I would feel tense and uncomfortable all over. Suddenly, I understood that this discomfort is actually a form of self-objectification.

There are even many times when I don’t like to wear makeup or dress in very exquisite and beautiful clothes. Because as soon as I make a little effort to look good, I become very concerned about others' opinions, subconsciously feeling that every move I make is being observed, and even my walking becomes stiff. This, in essence, is also a manifestation of self-objectification and self-gazing; in plain terms, it's seeing myself through others' eyes.

Self-objectification is like a mirror; when used well, we can recognize ourselves from a third-person perspective. However, excessive immersion can lead to an inability to extricate ourselves, ultimately becoming a sharp blade of self-PUA (manipulation). Just like in quantum mechanics, when photons are observed, they collapse; when a person is gazed at, their self collapses.

But in quantum mechanics, there’s also a principle: as long as human observation cannot predict the actions of photons with 100% accuracy, photons will not collapse. Therefore, when faced with being gazed at, if we want to avoid self-objectification, we must strengthen our minds and not allow others to see through us.