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RE: Foster Care- My Story- How I Became A Foster Child
I have started writing about my past, but I'm not sure if I could ever speak about it. Even with decades it doesn't get easier, does it?
What they did to you to get you to implicate your father was little better than torture. It infuriates me that they would essentially destroy a relationship between father and daughter. Almost like they want children to be in a situation of abuse.
I started in December and January writing my story on here and found it was a great way to open up and talk about my past. Then during the summer, I decided I was ready to talk. I must have made this video 10 times before I could get through it without breaking down and crying. For many years I tried blocking out my past. While I am talking it is like a video is being played in my head and this is what I am seeing while I am talking. My only issue is staying on topic as I am trying to work through some of this my mind is not ready to deal with other things so when I start letting my mind open back up it wants me to go away and start thinking of something else.
I realize how off that sounds to many people. But your mind wants to protect you from these things it has locked away. So to answer you on does it get easier. It does get easier to talk about it but you must go slowly as too much can bring too much raw emotion out that you will have a harder time dealing with.
It is healing and feels good to let it out once you have dealt with it. I have had fewer headaches since I decided to open up.
The relationship between me and my father has never been the same. We feel like strangers even to this day.
I have to admit I thought it would be simpler to write down events, but my first attempt took me more fully back to the memory than I expected and suddenly made a lot more other things make sense. I will probably need to analyse and accept those connections first before I move on.
Apologies for such a late reply. I'm taking slow steps at the moment. I hope you continue to work through your memories and heal. Thank you for the inspiration.
This is the first time I have been able to reply. Every time I tried it would not let me. Yes as you start to talk about events even more things will come back. This is why I never talk about this more than I can at one time. And it is important to take breaks.