Children-404, we are not a mistake!!!

Hello everyone ! Yesterday I read an article, that I decided to share with you. Link to full article: https://www.mk.ru/social/2018/10/07/khochu-lech-i-ne-prosypatsya-kak-zhivut-v-rossii-lgbtpodrostki.html. We are talking about the topic, that I never thought of before. Six years ago, a regional law was developed in Russia prohibiting the promotion of homosexuality among minors. And in 2013, the relevant law was adopted at the Federal level. The reaction was not long in coming. In response, in social networks appeared a closed group for LGBT teenagers -"Children — 404". Anonymous letters of children of non-traditional sexual orientation are published in the community. Teenagers, misunderstood by their parents, hunted by friends, humiliated by teachers, share their experiences. "Children-404" are invisible children, who decided to tell the society, that they exist. The number " 404 "refers to the analogy with the technical message, when the wrong set of the address of the page on the Internet:"Error 404 — page does not exist." The initiator of this project was the literary editor Elena Klimova, who wrote a series of articles about LGBT children and appeared before the court for the promotion of non-traditional sexual relations among minors. The community itself "Children-404. LGBT teenagers " was also blocked by the CPS by a court decision - for propaganda among teenagers of non-traditional sexual relations. The problem is, that this group is practically the only one in Russia, where teenagers can get support and help.

Here's an excerpt from a letter, that was published in this community. "Maybe my story will seem vile to someone, so... Excuse me. I like girls and my parents know that. One morning my father grabbed me and moved me to the guest room. They tied me up with my mom. I don't know, how long it took until some strange boy came in. He apologized, and at my request to help just laughed. Then he raped me. My parents were happy, and it was my first sexual experience. I'm terrified of men now, really... But I like girls until now. The police said, that they don't believe me, that I jumped this guy myself. About parents they do not believe. Nobody believed me. In November I started having health problems. My mother bought me a pregnancy test. It was positive. Their happiness knew no bounds. "You will give birth and you will become normal", — parents repeated to me. I was thinking about that rape, and I wanted to die. I am doomed to loneliness, suffering and torment. And I will live with my parents, because I depend on their money. Girl of 19 years, the Republic of Karelia".

There are very few articles on this topic. In 2013, Elena Klimova published a material, in which she condemned the Federal bill to ban the promotion of homosexuality among minors. Later, a 15-year-old lesbian from a provincial town wrote her. The girl said, that this article helped her to get rid of thoughts of suicide. No one talks or writes about LGBT teenagers in our country. They do not exist in the media space. Elena interviewed 115 people in social networks and based on conversations with them wrote several journalistic materials. Around the same time, she announced a photo campaign: Elena invited teenagers to send their photos and stories about their lives for publication. After reading these stories, she thought about, who will protect these children from the cruelty of classmates, misunderstanding of parents, who will talk to them, when they are lonely, give a helping hand? In April 2013, the project migrated to the Internet. Link to social network: https://vk.com/deti404_c

Most horrifying are the letters describing extreme cruelty. To the community wrote a young man, who lived in an orphanage. He told, that when acquaintances learned about his sexual orientation, beat him and raped with a bottle. Then he wrote again, it all turned out well: he began to learn in college, changed the environment. That girl wrote, that her parents were subjected her to corrective rape. There are people, who believe, that sexual contact with a man makes a lesbian "normal". Girl got pregnant. She wrote and asked for advice. Unfortunately, two weeks later, the girl stopped answering letters, the community still does not know, how she's doing. I am horrified even by some phrases. One young man's mother said, that it would be better if he was a drug addict than gay.

The most common themes are self — determination. Teenagers are interested in the questions " who am I?", "what should I call myself?". They doubt whether to tell someone, how they feel. And how to deal with the negative consequences, if the environment has learned about their homosexual orientation: what to do if you do not accept, beat, insult. It happens often. Parents in four cases out of five do not accept children, who tell about their sexual orientation. And the spectrum of "do not accept" stretches from "let's just not discuss it" to "get out of the house, you ungrateful beast." And only in one case react quietly. They say something like " you are still my daughter / my son; it will be difficult for you, but I will support you." And the parental arsenal of psychological violence is much more diverse than that of classmates and peers. And their measures of influence are completely inhumane. Parents often just ignore the teenager — pretending "nothing happened", don't believe him, forbidden to speak on this topic. Often in the course are more radical measures: take away the phone, monitor correspondence, call the child sick, pervert, humiliate and insult... As well as trying to treat hormones, that lead to churches and healers are threatened with the lunatic asylum and even murder. There are a lot of wild stories.

Here are some quotes on this topic:

Arachne, 16 (Nizhniy Tagil): "Mother beats. Probably thinks, it can be knocked out. Drags by the hair, can throw on the floor and kick." (Nizhniy Tagil is my hometown)

Mark, 16 years old (Tomsk): "Mother called me one word — "faggot." I didn't have a name anymore, I wasn't even a "son" anymore. "Wash the dishes, faggot," " take out the trash, faggot." When I asked her not to talk to me like that, because it's not my fault I'm like this, she said Yes. Said, " there's physical deformities. Everyone admits, that people with such disabilities are freaks. And you're a moral freak, so why does everyone have to bow to you?"I don't know, why she said bow. I just asked her not to insult me."

Roma, 17 years old (Volgograd region): "My parents kicked me out of the house, saying, that I am nature's mistake and it would be better to return the time back to have an abortion."

Lit, 15 years (Chaplygin): "Due to the fact, that I am lesbian, the father at the behest of my mother beat me with chairs, iron buckles, considering that "beat the shit out of me".

Kira, 15 years old: "I told my parents, that I fell in love with a girl. Mom was crying. Dad screamed, said I was a disgrace, that the easiest thing to stand out for is this, not the mind. Shouting at me, he left and said in the end: "if not for your younger brother, I would have killed myself long ago. To live for someone like you is meaningless."

Elena interviewed teenagers about the relationship with teachers. 239 people said, that their teachers spoke at least once on the topic of sexual orientation in class or in a personal conversation. Two-thirds of teachers reacted sharply negatively.

Examples: the student from Tatarstan said: "the biology teacher said, that they are defective people. Social science teacher - that "they" transmit the infection. All of this listen to there is no forces."

The remaining teachers spoken neutral and quietly on this subject:

Arthur, 16 years old (Krasnoyarsk): "In English lessons on the topic of" Discrimination"the teacher said, that we need to treat such people with understanding."

Phoenix, 14 years (Mytischi): "At the history lesson we were studying the reign of Alexander the First, someone from the class asked the teacher, if it is true, that he was gay. Our teacher said, she didn't know. As the class went chuckles, and she cut off: "you guys are adults, it's time to stop laughing at people who are different from you" — and the lesson after that just continued."

Here is another passages from the letters: "My name is Danya. I was born a girl in a small town near the capital, surrounded by many relatives, who since childhood hammered into my head: where to go to enter, whom I will study, where to work, what husband, what children.Everything would be fine, but they make fun of LGBT people and me. When I started cutting myself and the school psychologist noticed this, my parents said, it was the forbidden groups, that were to blame. Although all of this have made they. I never understood my body. Broad shoulders, hips rounded, face the whether guy, then whether girls. I don't understand, what's going on inside. I don't understand, who I am. I've been tested, and I have increased testosterone. I eat normally, I don't take any of the drugs, but, damn, because of the increased hormone I have hair on my stomach, is that normal? And most importantly, the voice is rougher, and on the chin and a little higher one can see the hairs. Is my body mocking me??"

"I'm a homosexual. I live in a rather big city, where I often went to other schools. Everyone is mocking me, insulting me and beating me. They call me fag every day, when I go to school. I don't know, what I did to them, because I didn't even tell them I am homosexual. I was born this way, it can't be changed. A lot of people said I am dead. So for me this is the last way out, except to endure it for another four years and go far."

43.9% replied, that they sometimes thinking about emigration. Almost a third admitted, that they are seriously going to leave — learn foreign languages, collect information about studying abroad. Almost half of those, who do not want to live in Russia, indicated the reasons related to sexual orientation as motivation. Another 11.5% answered the question negatively, the remaining 10% chose the answer "I do not know". These children want to marry, not to hide, to live in a more tolerant and less homophobic society, not to be afraid and to be safe.

I repeat - this community Children-404 is blocked by CPS. There is an impression that, according to legislators, homosexual and transgender teenagers simply do not exist in nature. Many of our fellow citizens share the same views. Few people are even willing to think about, how these children survive in the face of aggressive intolerance. The information vacuum, in which they find themselves, not only fails to answer the most important question, "who am I?", but also pushes to an invisible but existing abyss, that separates every teenager from the rest of the world. Whom will the parents blame, when their misunderstood son or daughter prefers self-abuse or suicide, because the closest people think he's crazy. This topic is incredibly complex and sensitive, but the public cannot ignore such children. They need support and assistance. Not to mention the parents. I remember a movie "The Family Stone", in which a mother says to her homosexual son, " You're normal! You're the most normal of all normal people, who sit in this room"!

Thanks for reading!
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